Who Needs Prozac When I've Got You?
by Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
Summary: BlessedBeACullen's idea. Just my words... Jasper/Bella! Bella moves to Forks because Phil is abusive and killed Renee... Title comes from an MxPx song.
1. Young And Depressed

**A/N**: Ok, so new Jasper/Bella fic! But first, I just wanna mention that this plot was given to me by BlessedBeACullen, and I'm dedicating this fic to her for letting me write one of her ideas. And I haven't abandoned "Decembers"!! Just suffering from more writer's block and I just started school last week so things have been really hectic. And they probably will be for several more months... so just a heads up, it could take awhile for a new chapter for "Decembers" but I'm writing it!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything!

* * *

**(Bella's POV)**

I stared absentmindedly at the clouds outside the plane window. This was it. My ticket out of that hell hole I called home. I was on my way to Forks, Washington, the dullest town on the planet, to live with my biological father, Charlie.

I flashed back painfully to the last few years, since my mom married that motherfucker, Phil. I shuddered as I thought about it.

**-flashback-**

I was sprawled on my back on the kitchen table. Phil was drunk again and started hitting me senseless as soon as I walked through the door.

I shut my eyes and blocked out the pain, trying not to cry, knowing it would cost me another blow to the head.

"You're such a god damn whore!" He slurred. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I didn't answer.

The smell of alcohol on his breath alerted me to the fact that he was leaning over me. "I asked, what the fuck is wrong with you, bitch? Why can't you do anything right!?"

I had no idea what I did. "I didn't do anything..." I said weakly.

"Like fuckin' hell you didn't! You were supposed to come home right after school to make me dinner! Well where the fuck were you!"

I wondered why Renee hadn't come running yet... but then realized that she probably didn't wanna get involved. I didn't _want_ her involved, no need to have two bloody bodies tonight.

I didn't say anything else, just took the beating. Eventually he passed out and I ran to the sanctuary of my room.

That's when I saw it, my mother's body, sprawled out face down at the top of the stairs. She had a knife sticking out of her back. I felt dizzy and heard a scream. I wondered who it was before I figured out it was me.

I had no doubt in my mind who killed her.

I could barely make out a coherent sentence for the police through my tears.

There were there within five minutes, the "douchebag" was still passed out...

I was on my way to Forks two days later.

**-End flashback-**

I felt a tap on my shoulder and woke with a start, accidentally yanking my iPod earbuds out of my ears. "Wha...?" I was disoriented.

I looked up to see a flight attendant looking at me, concerned. "Miss? Are you okay? You were screaming in your sleep..."

I realized my flashback had turned into a very vivid nightmare. I managed a (hopefully) believable fake smile. "I'm fine. It was just a nightmare, I tend to talk in my sleep."

She looked wary but said, "Okay... Well, I'm going to have to ask you to turn off all electronic devices," she gestured to the iPod, and put your seat in its upright position. We'll be landing shortly."

"Oh. Okay." I did as she told and she left.

Before I knew it, I was landing in Port Angeles and getting off the plane. Despite it being toasty warm inside the airport, I shivered and zipped up my black hoodie over my white Sex Pistols shirt. I pulled the hood up and adjusted my backpack straps before walking to the baggage claim.

Charlie spotted me and flashed a smile that didn't quite reach his tired brown eyes.

We got my luggage and drove home in complete silence.

I skipped dinner and just went straight upstairs to my room to unpack. Charlie didn't seem to mind.

Charlie _did_ say something though, through the door, as I was crawling into my warm old bed.

"I miss her too, Bells." And then his footsteps faded as he walked across the hall to his room.

I could feel the tears well up and fall silently. I cried myself to sleep again that night.

I dreaded school when I wore up the next morning, knowing Charlie already had me enrolled. Forks was such a small town that everyone probably knew my story by now.

I was almost sick at the very thought of all those pairs of eyes boring into me, the looks of sympathy I was sure to get. I didn't want sympathy.

I took a deep breath before leaving the safeness of my bed and walking over to my suitcase. I picked out a pair of skinny jeans and my favorite Flogging Molly shirt. But then I remembered that Renee bought it for me the last time they were in Phoenix, so I put it away and traded it for a Social Distortion tee.

As I slipped the garments on, I couldn't stop the tears from falling, and for awhile, I lay on the floor, crying. After a few minutes, I was able to pick myself up off the floor, grab my warm, comforting, plain thick, black hoodie, and then put on my old beat up Converse before making my way downstairs.

I decided to skip breakfast, afraid of not being to hold anything down. So I went back up to my room to apply my makeup. It wasn't until I was walking out the door when I realized I had no way of getting anywhere. Charlie already left.

My questions were answered as I looked up to see an old red Chevy pickup parked in the driveway with a note in the windshield. I stuck my hand in through the open window and read the note.

_Dear Bells,_

_Hope you like your new car, well, not new I guess. But Billy says it runs really well._

_Drive safe._

_-Dad_

I managed a small smile as I studied the truck, it was sturdy, which I liked. It wouldn't be easy to destroy with my klutziness.

I noticed the keys were in the ignition and I opened the door and clamored into the cab just before the rain started. I closed the window and started the truck to get the heat going.

If I hadn't already known where Forks High was, I would have missed it. It's the most impressive structure in Forks, which is pretty sad, honestly.

I parked my truck amongst all the other crappy cars and the one expensive looking one, a shiny silver Volvo.

Since I like the rain, I walked to the administration office.

The lady at the front desk looked up when she heard the door. She smiled. "Isabella?"

"Bella," I corrected.

She rummaged through the paperwork overflowing on the desk and handed me several sheets of paper, including a map of the school, like I'd need it for a school this tiny.

I walked into my first class and walked up to the desk. The teacher signed the slip I paper I handed him and sent me to the back of the room with just a "Hello. You must be Isabella," and a smile.

It was my classmates I was worried about.

I could feel the eyes boring into me, hear the whispers they thought I couldn't hear. "Heard her mom died..." "Heard he raped her."

The journey to my dilapidated desk in the back seemed to take forever.

The teacher started class then, but every once in a while, I would look up to a pair of curious eyes that quickly looked away.

The rest of my morning classes passed by in much of the same manner.

At lunch, a girl from my Spanish class, Jessica Stanley, came up to me to ask, "Wanna sit with me and my friends?" She probably just felt sorry for poor loner me, but I accepted the invitation.

Jessica didn't seem to care that I didn't talk. She rambled on and on as I picked at the food on my tray.

It wasn't until I looked up that I noticed _them_.

_They_ were sitting at the table in the corner farthest away from the table I was at: three guys and two girls. The girls were complete opposite. One was blond and looked like a supermodel. The other was much shorter with spiky black hair and she was _tiny_!

The boys were complete opposites too. One was sitting with the blond girl, he looked like he was the oldest. He was muscled- like a bodybuilder. The one sitting with the shorter girl was more boyish than the rest, and he had a strange bronze tint to his hair... All of them were super pale and had dark eyes.

It was the last guy who caught my attention. His honey blond hair was long and his bangs covered his face as he doodled in a notebook and listened to an iPod. He was skinnier than the oldest one but not quite as lanky as the youngest one.

As I was staring at this boy, he looked up to talk to the bronze-haired boy. I noticed his face was as gorgeous as I suspected... and he was wearing a Flogging Molly shirt.

The dull emotional ache hit me like a bullet full force and I gasped.

He looked over at me as if he'd somehow heard my gasp. But it wasn't an accusing or overly curious look like the others I'd gotten all of today. It was just... sad? I couldn't exactly tell.

We must have been staring at each other for at least a minute before he seemed to snap out of it and looked away.

I turned to look at Jessica and asked, "Who are _they_?" She knew who I was talking about just by how I asked the question.

She glanced up at the table. "The Cullens. See the big guy? That's Emmett Cullen. The one with the reddish-brown hair is Edward, and the girl next to him is actually Alice Brandon. And the blonds are the Hales. Jasper and Rosalie. They're twins but Rosalie's a grade ahead 'cause she skipped a grade or something."

All I was focused on was _him_. Jasper Hale... interesting name. But I already loved it, unpopular and awesome.

"They're all so... gorgeous!" I breathed.

"Well, yeah," Jessica said. "But they're all _together_! Well, Emmett and Rosalie are. And Alice and Edward." I could see how something like this would shock the town.

I breathed a sigh of relief inwardly as I realized something, "So Jasper's single?"

"Yeah." She scowled and I wondered when she'd got rejected. "But don't get your hopes up. He doesn't date."

My heart sank a little as she went on to explain that the Cullens and Hales (and Brandon) had been adopted by Dr. Cullen and his wife. I didn't stand a chance with Jasper, why would he like me anyway. I'm not special...

The bell rang and I watched as one by one, they picked up their trays of untouched food and threw it away. They were all very graceful, even Emmett, which was surprising.

Jasper was the last to leave, because he was packing up his notebook and stuff. As he got up to go, he glanced at me and flashed me a shy smile. And then he was gone.

Jessica stopped midway from getting up from the table. "D-did... _Jasper Hale _just _smile_ at you!?" She sputtered.

I gathered up my own stuff and shrugged. "Maybe he was smiling at someone else."

"No, that was definitely directed at you," a girl named Angela said.

I blushed and hurried off to biology before they could say anything else.

I walked into the classroom feeling slightly less depressed.

Mr. Banner signed the slip of paper and then directed me to the only empty sear in the middle of the room... right next to Jasper Hale!


	2. Gray Skies Turn Blue

**(Bella's POV) **

There was that shy smile again, which caused me to blush furiously.

As is expected with me, I tripped on my way over to the desk and reached out to grab onto the edge of the table to catch myself. I missed and fell flat on my ass.

Jasper reached over and held out a hand to help me up. I grabbed it and almost let go. His hand was ice cold!

He pulled me to my feet and pulled my chair out for me to sit.

I sat down carefully, not wanting to trip again. "Uh... th-thanks," I stuttered.

"No problem," he answered quietly. His voice was like honey, absolutely perfect. I suddenly found myself wondering if he sounded this good when he sang.

I momentarily forgot my sadness as Mr. Banner started class. But as soon as I glanced at Jasper and saw his shirt, it brought back so many memories of my mother, and the sadness returned.

I could feel the tears welling up but I blinked them back.

I felt something being pushed towards me. It was a note. I glanced over at Jasper and he nodded as if to say, "Read it".

I looked up at Mr. Banner, who was writing something on the board.

I turned my attention back to the note and opened it up carefully.

_'Why are you so sad?' _His handwriting was amazing, way better than mine.

I hesitated before scrawling back, _'Is it that obvious?'_

He read the note and nodded at me. So I wrote, _'Can't talk about it now_._'_

He nodded again and then wrote, _'What's your name?'_

_'Bella_.'

_'Pretty name_'. He wrote a small happy face next to his last note and I blushed as I read it.

"Miss Swan!" Mr. Banner's booming voice brought me back to reality. "What's your answer?" He was looking at me accusingly, because he was sure I didn't know the answer to his question, which I didn't. I didn't even know the fucking question!

"Krebs cycle," Jasper murmured.

I didn't question it. I just said it, "Krebs cycle." And Mr. Banner's accusing face turned to one of bewilderment. He quickly let the whole thing go.

I turned to Jasper and mouthed. "Thank you!"

He just smiled.

* * *

**(Jasper's POV)**

I found myself smiling a lot more than usual today. I can't exactly say why, it was something about this human girl though.

Her blood smelled delectable, but I knew in my heart, that I would never be able to kill her. She'd suffered from so much already, I didn't want to be responsible for her death.

It was her emotions, not her blood, that caused me to notice her in the cafeteria. The emotional atmosphere had been a mix of the usual teenage emotions: excitement, some depression, happiness, etc.

But then her overwhelming sadness hit me and I almost fell over from the impact.

And now, looking over at her now and again, I could still feel that sadness she tried to cover up. I knew I could make her tell me, but I wanted her to be able to tell me herself.

I've experienced so many emotions from other people, but her's affected me the most.

I was determined to find out what had happened to this beautiful girl, Bella, to make her this sad.

As Mr. Banner put on a video about the process of osmosis, I glanced over at Bella to see her crying silently.

Something told me not to say anything.

The bell rang before the video clip ended and Bella tore out of the room so fast, she forgot her iPod. Knowing how important my own iPod is to me, I tucked hers into my pocket and decided to return it after school. I knew where Chief Swan lived.

School ended soon and I shuffled outside to meet my siblings at Edward's car. Alice was the first to show up after me and she squealed and wrapped her arms around me.

I was surprised, to say the least. "What are you so happy about?"

"I just had a vision." She beamed. "You and Bella were so happy together!"

"Wait. Me and the new girl? Together?" I'd never shown interest in any girls, human girls especially. The temptation to kill them was too great. But, now that I thought about it, that temptation was almost nonexistent with Bella.

Alice nodded. "You talked to her, didn't you?" Of course she knew. Alice always knew.

I nodded this time. "Yeah. She's in my biology class... she's my lab partner."

Everyone else showed up and we got in the car. I told Edward, "Drop me off at Chief Swan's house."

He turned to look at me. "Why?"

I held up Bella's iPod. "She left it in class."

He shrugged but did what I said. With Edward's speedy driving, I was sure to make it to the house before Bella.

He dropped me off and sped off.

I stood in the rain for a few minutes, letting myself get soaked. The iPod was tucked away safely in the pocket of my ripped up jeans.

After standing there and staring for awhile, I made my way to the door. Bella wasn't home yet, there were no cars in the driveway. I sat on the porch swing to wait.

A faded red Chevy pickup rolled into my line of vision within the next few minutes. It was Bella, and from where I was, I could see and hear her crying.

I stood up and walked up to her window silently. She had her arms crossed over the steering wheel, with her head buried in her arms. Her shoulders shook with sobs.

I opened up the cab door and she looked up. "What are you," she sniffed, "doing here, Jasper?"

I didn't say anything. I just motioned for her to scoot over so I could climb in.

She didn't question it, she just cried and let me into her truck. I closed the door behind me and held my arms open. She crawled into my embrace and cried on my shoulder. I hugged her tightly, though not too tight, and let her sob all she wanted.

* * *

**(Bella's POV)**

What was I _doing_? I was not only crying on the shoulder of a guy I just met, but a really really _hot _guy who I just met!

I try so hard to not cry in front of anyone, let alone let them comfort me. So why was I so willing to open up to Jasper?

I sniffed a few times, inhaling the amazingly amazing smell radiating off his skin in the process.

Over the course of what seemed to be an hour, though it was really probably just minutes, my tears subsided. But I didn't dare look him in the eye at that moment. I just let him hold me for a couple more minutes.

"What's wrong?" He said this so quietly, I had to strain to hear him over the pounding of the rain on the roof of the truck.

I didn't say anything. And he didn't push it.

"I should get you inside." He opened the cab door and scooped me up into her arms, carrying me to the front door.

I didn't protest. I was too exhausted from crying.

He let himself into the house and made his way upstairs. My room's not hard to find, seeing as how there's only two in the house.

He carried me to my room and sat down in the old rocking chair in the corner with me in his lap. While he was carrying me upstairs, I had locked my arms around his neck and now that we were sitting, I knew I should probably let go, but I didn't.

He rubbed my back softly and asked once again, "Bella. What's wrong?"

I sighed and forced myself to look him in the eye. "You really don't know?"

He shook his head.

I told him everything, every last detail, and I didn't even know why! What was it about him that made me want to tell him my deepest darkest secrets?

I hadn't realized it before, but Jasper's presence seemed to have a soothing effect on me.

He rubbed my back and just listened as I spilled every last detail of why I was in Forks and why I was so depressed. I was crying by the end of it.

I didn't even notice how cold I was, being wrapped up in Jasper's arms, until I started shivering.

He reached over and pulled the top quilt off of my bed and wrapped it around me before once again wrapping his arms around me. I rested my cheek against his shoulder and let the tears continue falling.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

The words sounded different somehow when he said them. I could tell he really meant them.

This just caused me to sob harder.

He started rocking back and forth in the rocking chair, which helped to calm me down.

Once the tears subsided, I had that random thought again of whether Jasper was a good singer or not. "Hey. Jasper?"

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"This might sound weird, but could you... sing to me?"

I looked up at him to see him smile. "Sure."

I rested my head on his shoulder again.

He took a deep breath before he began:

_The time is near when I don't need this phone  
And we'll stay home alone and watch the twilight zone_

I was in shock. His singing voice was better than I could ever have imagined. Indescribable. I recognized the song too, "You're Not Alone" by MxPx.

_  
We're still young and I know your afraid  
But I don't regret all the plans we made_

_Drive-in movies always make you sleep  
You end up copping Z's in my backseat_

_I've seen it in your eyes a thousand times  
I see you young again, I see the way you shine_

He moved onto the chorus and I could feel my body relax with each passing verse.

_  
You're not alone anymore  
Nothing will be like before  
You're not alone anymore_

_You're not alone anymore_

_Read your book while I make some hot tea  
I love it when you fall asleep on me_

_I'm still me and I know you're still you  
Together we're in shock, together this is new_

By this time, I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open, and he must have sensed it because he stopped singing. "You're sleepy." It wasn't a question, it was an observation.

"No I'm not," I cut myself off with a massive yawn and he smirked.

"Not tired, huh?"

I shook my head.

He stood up with me in his arms and set me down on the bed. "You should probably change and take a shower before you get sick."

I sighed. "Yeah. I should." I was sad because I knew that that meant that he was leaving.

He must have noticed my change in tone because he smiled apologetically and said, "I'd stay longer, except that I'm pretty sure Chief Swan'll be home soon, and I need to get changed."

It was true, his clothes were soaking wet.

He reached into his jeans pocket and withdrew a small item.

"My iPod!" I exclaimed. I hadn't even realized that I'd lost it.

He smiled. "Yeah. You left it in biology today. That's really why I came by." He held it out and I took it back before standing up and hugging him.

He hugged me back before pulling back. "You should really take a hot shower."

I nodded and he let himself out of the room. "See you tomorrow, Bella." He smiled and me before shutting the door.

I found myself getting weak at the knees at the sound of his beautiful voice. Life was really starting to look up.

I flopped down on the bed and smiled a real smile in what felt like years (which it probably was).

_I think I'm in love_, I thought before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N**: So, here's chapter 2! What'd you think?? Song was "You're Not Alone" by MxPx and I just fell in love with in so I think everyone reading this should go buy every MxPx CD and fall in love with the band too (or maybe just the song. But the band as a whole is amazing)! Once again, this fic is dedicated to BlessedBeACullen for letting me bring one of her ideas to life!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing!!


	3. Falling, Yes I Am Falling

**(Bella's POV)**

The sound of the front door slamming woke me with a start. "Bells?" I heard Charlie call.

"Up here, dad!" I called back. I got up and examined my still damp clothes. I changed into my pajamas before going downstairs where Charlie was just hanging up his gun belt.

He smiled. "Hi Bells. You look happier today." He seemed relieved.

I hadn't even realized that I was smiling. "I am!" It was true, and I knew my mother would be happy, she wouldn't want me being depressed. "I uh, made a new friend today."

"That's great, honey! Who?"

"One of the Cullens, well Hales actually. You know Jasper?"

"The big one?"

"No. The blond."

He searched his memory as he took off his boots. "Oh I remember him! Nice kid, all of them are. We thought they'd be a problem when they first moved her, but the station hasn't had a speck of trouble from any of them." It was the longest speech I'd ever heard Charlie make. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Nothing yet. Lemme make something."

I was in such a good mood that I actually started singing as I cooked some spaghetti.

I belted out the lyrics to my favorite Beatles song. "Oh yeah, I, tell you something... I think you'll understand. When I, say that something. I wanna hold your hand!! I wanna hold your hand..."

Charlie walked into the kitchen laughing and joined in with his own tone deaf voice.

It was the most fun I'd had in a long time.

By the second verse, we were laughing so hard we had to stop.

Once we could breathe again, Charlie cleared his throat. "Uh, you know, that song was the one your mother and I danced to at our wedding."

On any other day, this little tidbit would've made me sad, but not today. Now, I could just picture Renee wearing her beautiful white wedding dress, and dancing with Charlie to this song... It wasn't surprising. She'd always loved this song.

I smiled and told Charlie, "Not surprised."

"We're uh, holding a memorial service for her next week. Would you, ya know, sing that... for her?" He seemed anxious about my reaction.

"Sure dad. She'd love that."

* * *

**(Jazz's POV. Starting from when he left)**

As Bella drifted off to sleep, I walked into the woods and checked to make sure no one was around before racing home.

I couldn't help but break into song (a habit. I sing when I'm happy) as I walked up the winding driveway to the front door.

"I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place where we just met. She's just the girl for me and I want all the world to see we've met." I hummed and moved onto the second verse as I breezed through the front door.

"Had it been another day I might have looked the other way. And I'd have never been aware, but as it is I'll dream of her tonight. Di-di-di-da-da-di!"

I was onto the chorus as I walked to my room. "Falling, yes I am falling! And She keeps calling, me back again!"

I could feel Rose's irritation by now so I shut up as I flopped onto my couch.

A happy, hyper Alice bounded into the room at the exact same moment as a seething, pissed off Rosalie.

She hissed, "A human? She's human? What were you thinking, Jasper!?" Alice must have told her something.

I ignored my fake twin... until she growled. I sighed. "I couldn't leave her, she was so upset..." The memory of Bella's sobs invaded my memory.

"So what!?"

I shrugged before nodded over at my favorite sister. "Talk to Alice."

My spat with Rose didn't hinder Alice. She'd been bouncing on the balls of her feet the whole time, waiting for her turn to speak.

"Oh Jazz! I saw the whole thing!" She squealed.

"And...?" I questioned.

"That was so sweet of you!"

Rose grumbled.

Alice plopped down next to me on the couch. "You make her happy," she said in a calmer voice.

That thought caused a smile to appear on my face. "Really?"

She nodded. "You two will be inseparable!"

I didn't doubt that.

By this time, the rest of the family had heard what was going on and came up to investigate. They gathered behind Rose at the door.

Esme beamed at me. If I was happy, she was happy. My adoptive mother said, "I'm so happy for you, dear!"

Carlisle added, "Just be careful. She's still human."

"I will," I promised.

Edward was indifferent and Emmett grinned. "'Bout time you got a girlfriend."

I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck, hoping they wouldn't notice my discomfort with that word. Bella wasn't my girlfriend yet.

Carlisle asked, "So you feel no temptation from her blood?" He knows as well as anyone that I have the worst self-control.

I shook my head. "Well, a little. But I know I'd never be able to hurt her."

Carlisle nodded and then left with Esme.

Rosalie grumbled some more, shot a glare at me, and dragged Emmett out of the room.

Alice looked at Edward, most likely saying something in her mind, because he smiled and then left, closing the door behind him.

She turned back to me and wrapped her tiny arms around my waist. She didn't say anything except, "You should hunt," and then she was out of the room in a flash.

Now that she had mentioned it, the burning in the back of my throat flared up.

I raced downstairs and out the back door to hunt.

The taste of animal blood isn't nearly as satisfying as human, but it would have to do. I couldn't stand the thought of killing innocent humans again.

I took down four deer and a bear before my eyes returned to their normal honey color and the burn in my throat subsided.

I wiped the blood on my mouth away with the back of my hand and headed back to the house... and then immediately wished I hadn't.

The amount of lust coming from the house was enough to gross out anyone. I decided to go for a drive to get away for a few hours.

I headed to the garage, but not before screaming, "What the fuck, guys?"

I hopped into my black Porsche and sped off.

I drove all the way to Seattle at the speed limit and just turned right back around. By the time I was back in Forks, and speeding, it was eleven o'clock.

I didn't feel like going back home, and somehow my subconscious mind led me to Bella's house.

I slowed my car down to a crawl as I approached the silent neighborhood. I parked several houses away and walked the rest of the way to Bella's.

I crept up to the side of the house, under the massive oak tree next to Bella's window.

It was dark in the room, but she wasn't asleep.

I could hear her uneven, ragged breathing. It sounded as if she'd been crying.

Concerned, I climbed the tree so I was sitting on the branch outside her window.

She was lying on her side in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin. Her back was to me, and I could just tell, she _had_ been crying.

I tapped on the window softly, feeling kinda stalkerish.

She jumped and whipped her head to look out the window, absolutely terrified. But when she saw it was me, she let out a sigh of relief and her heartbeat slowed as she smiled.

I smiled back and waved.

She threw the covers back and walked to the window. It opened with a slight creak. She stuck her head out. "What are you doing here, Jasper?"

I shrugged, because I really didn't know. "Can I come in?"

"Sure... Be quiet though, Charlie can't know you're here." Shock overtook her sadness at the moment, but as I jumped through the window silently, happiness shone through as her shock wore off. Alice was right, I did make her happy.

She closed the window and turned to me. Her eyes were red and bloodshot.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked.

"Why aren't you?" She shot back.

Fuck, I thought. I gots some 'splainin to do. (A/N: Nope, not a typo. I just say that all the time and everything thinks it's really cute, and I thought it would be freakin' adorable if Jazzy said that! )

"Uh..."

She let it go and answered my original question instead. "I can't sleep. I don't want the nightmares to come back." She shuddered.

I pulled her into my arms and held her close to me. I could hear her heartbeat speed up and smell the delicious blood rushing to her cheeks as she blushed.

Yet, as delectable as her blood smelled, I was still repelled by it. The very thought of her blood disgusted me.

She wrapped her own arms around my neck and buried her nose in my old Pennywise shirt.

"How come you're so cold?" She asked. Bella was more perceptive than other humans and I knew that at that moment, if I had a beating heart, it'd be thudding out of my chest.

She asked another question. "And why are your eyes a different color than they were earlier?"

I cursed in my head. Fuck! The eyes were probably the first thing she noticed!"

She stepped back and grasped my cold hands with her warm ones. "And why don't you have a heartbeat, Jasper?"

"Uh..." Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!

"I just wanna know the truth, Jasper. I know you and your family aren't human."

* * *

**A/N**: Dun, dun, DUN!! Jazzy gots some 'splainin to do! XD Read and Review!! Oh yeah, 2 songs in this chapter, both by The Beatles. The one Bella was singing was "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and Jazz sang, "I've Just Seen A Face". Both are super freakin' awesome!

**Disclaimer**: Stephanie Meyer owns characters, The Beatles own the songs, BlessedBeACullen owns idea, I own words! Got it?


	4. You Make Me, Me

**(Jazz's POV)**

I sighed. "Maybe this isn't the best place to talk."

She shrugged. "Lead the way."

I picked her up bridal style. "Close your eyes."

She squeezed her eyes shut and I jumped out the window, landing silently. I carried her deep into the dark woods and set her down on a fallen tree trunk before taking a seat next to her.

I decided to just say it, hoping she wasn't playing some sick trick on me to make me sound like a lunatic. "Bella, I'm... a vampire. My whole family is."

She nodded knowingly. "I knew it."

"How?" I asked curiously.

"When I was five years old, Renee decided to drag me on a trip to Alaska." Already, I could tell that someone from the Denali coven would turn up in this story.

Bella shivered, whether in remembrance or because she was cold, I couldn't tell. I took off my faded Social Distortion hoodie and handed it to her anyway.

She smiled and put it on. It was much too big for her small frame, and made her look even more adorable.

Once she zipped it up, she sighed and continued her tale. "We got separated somehow, and I found myself completely lost in the woods. I was crying when I heard a voice say, 'My, my, aren't you a pretty one.' I looked up, terrified. It was a man, with these sinister red eyes and an evil smile. I was scared shitless." She paused, and continued again, probably editing out most of the details. "He almost bit me, but then I saw this blur and he got knocked to the ground. Before I fainted, I caught a glimpse of my savior. She looked Hispanic, even though she was as pale as you. And her eyes were golden." It had to have been Carmen, I realized.

"Why aren't you afraid?" I asked. She should be terrified, but her emotions were surprisingly calm.

"Because once I saw your eyes, I knew you were a good vampire." She smiled shyly.

"Well, we don't kill humans, if that's what you mean." The guilt threatened to pull me down and choke me. I wasn't a 'good' vampire, as Bella thought. I had killed innocent humans without a second thought. I used to be a bad vampire, but I couldn't tell her that. I would never, I cared too much about her to lose her with the truth.

"How do you survive?" Bella asked curiously.

"We hunt animals, that's why our eyes are different." It felt strange, telling this human girl my family's deepest darkest secret, but somehow I knew I could trust her.

She tried to suppress a yawn and I said, "I should get you home."

"No!" She exclaimed. "I'm not sleepy." Another yawn contradicted that statement. "I wanna hear more about your family."

"Maybe some other time. I should really take you back home."

She sighed. "Okay, fine." I picked her up and ran to her house and jumped through the window before setting her down on her bed.

I made a move to leave but she grabbed my hand, stopping me. "Will you stay with me?" She asked timidly.

I couldn't refuse. "Of course, Bella." I made another move to stand up to sit in the rocking chair, but she grabbed my hand again, and I could tell by her emotions what she wanted.

I just smiled and she lay down. I pulled the covers up around her and then lay down next to her. She turned so she was facing me and snuggled into my chest as I automatically wrapped my arms around her.

As Bella drifted off to sleep, she muttered, "I love you, Jasper." At first, I couldn't tell whether she was serious or not. The attraction she felt for me was undeniable, but as I concentrated on her emotions, love shone through the rest, albeit weak.

I smiled and kissed her cheek. "I love you too, Bella." And in my heart, I knew I was being truthful. Somehow, in the course of just one day, this human girl had found a place in my heart, and I knew I couldn't survive without her.

About forty years ago, Alice once told me she saw a girl in my future, my mate, someone I would love for the rest of eternity. And despite the fact that the vision occurred at least twenty years before Bella was born, I had a feeling that she was the girl from my future. I made a mental note to ask Alice about it later.

It still amazed me how little her blood affected me. I held her in my arms until four in the morning without having to hold my breath once. I took that as a good sign.

By this time, Bella had talked several times in her sleep, mostly random thoughts and phrases, including something about pie balls. I had to stifle a laugh at that.

By four thirty, I figured it was the best time for me to go home and change, Bella was in a deep sleep, and I suspected she would probably still be asleep when I got back.

I got up silently and raced out to my car.

* * *

**(Bella's POV) **

I woke up around six and noticed sadly that I was alone. Had last night been a dream?

After another minute of letting sleep evade me, I realized I was still wearing his hoodie. I brought the too long sleeve up to my nose and took a deep whiff, inhaling that amazing scent that could only ever be described as Jasper.

"What are you doing?" An amused voice asked.

I sat up to see Jasper sitting in the rocking chair. I blushed because the guy had caught me practically getting high off of his scent.

Once the embarrassment wore off, I threw the covers back and ran to the rocking chair.

I tripped just before I got there- as is typical with me- and I was prepared to land flat on my ass. But Jasper caught me before I hit the floor and pulled me onto his lap.

I adjusted my body a little and rested my head on his shoulder. While I wanted to tell myself that he had stayed, I knew he left. He was wearing different clothes and his hair looked damp, as if he's just showered.

"You left." I didn't phrase it as a question.

"Well, yeah, but I had to change and shower. What would the school think if I showed up in the exact same thing as yesterday?" He chuckled. "I mean, I came back, didn't I?"

I nodded.

"Don't worry. I stayed with you until at least four in the morning."

That made me feel a little better.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Good. You don't hate me."

I was confused. "What the fuck?"

"Oh... I forgot to mention that. Some vampires have special..." he paused, searching for the right word. "abilities. Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future, and I'm an empath."

"An empath? As in, emotions?"

He shrugged. "It's a pretty lame gift, honestly. I can feel the emotions of other people and manipulate them..."

"I don't think it's lame."

He smiled. "Really?"

"No. It's unique, I like that."

We settled into a comfortable silence.

After a few minutes, Jasper cleared his throat. "You uh, talked a lot in your sleep."

I could feel my face grow hot with embarrassment. How could I have forgotten my sleep talking habit!? Crap.

He chuckled. "Don't be embarrassed. It's just that, something you said caught my attention."

I raised an eyebrow and he continued. "You said you loved me."

I blushed again. He'd heard that?

He laughed. "Yes. I heard, if that's what your wondering. Vampire, remember? We have sensitive hearing and super hearing. But anyways, could you explain?"

I sighed. "I, uh, wasn't actually asleep when I said that. I was kinda half-asleep, and when I'm that exhausted, I tend to admit really random shit." Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow as I explained. "This may scare you off, but I might as well just say it. No one's ever cared about me this much, not even Charlie or Renee, which is saying something. And, while I'm still not sure and maybe, I think, if I don't already love you, I will over time."

"You do," he told me. "Your emotions gave it away. I just wanted to hear you say it."

Weird, I thought. He knew me better than I knew myself.

"And you know what," he added. "I think I love you too." He went on to explain a vision Alice once had, and that he thought I was the girl in it.

He looked over at my alarm clock. "You should really get ready for school."

I glanced over. He was right. It was past seven, school started at eight.

I stood up and took off his hoodie and held it out to him.

He shook his head and smiled. "Keep it."

I smiled back and rushed to the bathroom with a change of clothes and my bag of toiletries.

I stepped into the bathroom and stood in front of the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I looked healthier somehow. My pale skin had a nice healthy glow to it, and what bruises and scars I still bore from the fucktard's abuse were starting to fade. And my eyes didn't look dull and lifeless anymore, because I had someone who cared about me, and I wasn't alone. Was this what love did to a person?

I'd never thought of myself as particularly pretty, and I was the most antisocial person on the planet. I'd only ever had one boyfriend, and he broke up with me within two weeks. I wondered what Jasper saw in me.

I surprised myself by admitting my feelings for him, but I knew I was truthful. I didn't think I'd be able to survive without him. Maybe it was sort of like, 'love at first sight'.

I sighed and figured I should probably get my ass moving if I wanted to get to school on time. And at the speed my truck went, I'd need half an hour to complete the journey to Forks High.

I stripped off my pajamas and changed into a Bad Religion t-shirt, ripped up skinny jeans, and Jasper's hoodie. After that, I brushed out my tangled hair (and noticed for the first time just how long I'd let it grow to) and brushed my teeth.

The last step was makeup and then I was back in my room. Jasper looked like he hadn't moved a muscle since I left, but he broke into a grin when I entered the room.

I grinned back and asked, "So, are we like, dating or what?"

"I think it's safe to say that." He laughed. "We should get going now."

I skipped out on breakfast again and followed him out of the house... and froze in my tracks when I saw the sleek black Porsche parked in my driveway where Charlie's police cruiser usually is.

"Is t-that your car??" I sputtered.

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah. C'mon, get in." He held the passenger door open for me and I slid inside the car. I was in awe.

He was in the car in a split second. "Like it?" He asked as he started the engine.

"Like it? I _love_ it!" It was way better than my crappy truck, even though I loved my truck.

He sped out of the driveway and down the street. "Going a little fast there, aren't you?" I asked nervously, glancing at the speedometer.

He laughed. "Relax Bella. Vampires are great drivers. We've never been pulled over once." I was still wary but forced myself to relax a little.

We got to school within minutes.

Jasper shut off the engine and turned to look at me. I was gripping the seat in fear.

He chuckled and leaned over, prying my fingers from the seat. "Breathe, Bella." He reminded me.

I felt my body relax completely and suddenly I remembered how to breathe. I'm guessing Jasper had something to do with that.

He was out of the car and opening my door for me before I'd even gotten my seatbelt unbuckled.

I stepped out of the car... and tripped.

I was used to Jasper catching me by now.

Now, he held me securely in his arms and laughed. "Don't kill yourself today, Bella."

I laughed along with him. "I'll try not to."

And then I saw the Volvo park in the parking space next to Jasper's car and before the engine shut off, a very excited Alice jumped out of the car and glomped me.

I staggered a bit but she was careful not to hug me too tightly.

Jasper laughed again. "Bella. Meet my sister, Alice. Alice, well, you already know Bella."

She stepped back and beamed at me. She was at least a good head shorter than me, and she was freakin' adorable! (A/N: Everyone says that about me, and I always say that about Alice. I just always wanna hug her. )

The younger boy, Edward, I think his name was, walked up to our group silently and wrapped his arm around Alice. He smiled at me, but kept his distance and didn't say hi.

I just smiled back.

Finally, I noticed Emmett, and the blond girl, Rosalie walking right past us without a word. I turned to Jasper. "Do they hate me?"

Emmett turned his head to look at me apologetically as Jasper explained, "Well, Rose does. There's no point in lying about it. But she's always been a bitch."

I laughed and Alice added, "And Emmett just goes along with it. He doesn't hate you, but he doesn't wanna upset Rose either."

The bell rang, telling us to get to class. Alice hugged me again and stood on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek, and then she and Edward walked hand and hand to their first class.

Jasper looked at me and smiled. He held out his hand and I took it. I was used to his icy touch by now and it didn't bother me much.

He held my hand all the way to my first class. "I'll meet you here after class," he said, before leaning down and kissing my cheek. I blushed.

He laughed again and then disappeared.

When I turned to enter the classroom, I noticed that every girl in the room was looking at me with either looks of absolute rage, or discouragement, and I realized why. Jasper wasn't single anymore.

* * *

**A/N**: Yo yo yiggity yo! How are you my faithful readers? Sorry it took longer than usual to get this shit up, but here you go, chapter 4! Now, some bad news: My fucktard dad has banned me from fanfiction for a week and is only letting me upload this chapter, nothing else. I'm not allowed to read anything (sorry ecaniaga, if you read this, but now you know why my Edward bashing review won't show up til next week). So, yeah, be back next week (or hopefully I'll be able to sneak on later this week). Anyhoo, onto my little unspoken contest-thing... lol. Okay, so I have added a reference to the amazing movie "Juno" and the first person to get it gets the next chapter dedicated to them and a cyber cookie! And no, it was not the first sentence of this author's note. XD And as usual, BlessedBeACullen (who needs to send me a friggin PM or something if she wants her real name put in this dedication. lol), this fanfiction is dedicated to you cuz you came up with the whole plot!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing! And as Amber Is A Jasper's Girl has decided to point out, I don't even own the freakin words. Thanks a heap, coyote ugly! lol


	5. The Best Thing

**(Bella's POV)**

I had to deal with those stares and whispers throughout all my morning classes. It was torture. I made sure to leave last every time and Jasper was always there waiting to take me to my next class.

In Spanish, Jessica actually said something. "So, you and Jasper, huh?" She commented.

"Mmhmm," I answered, not looking up from my notebook.

"So, when did that happen?"

I shrugged and wrote something down.

"Is he a good kisser?"

I shrugged again, because I really didn't know. We hadn't kissed yet.

I could practically see her roll her eyes. "God dammit, Bella! You're dating the most gorgeous guy in school and you have nothing to say?" The sound of her voice was starting to annoy me.

I shrugged yet again, mostly just to piss her off, and then the bell rang. For the first time that day, I was the first one out the door.

Jasper was there like I knew he would be and noticed my mood swing from embarrassed to slightly pissy and a little depressed.

His smile turned into a frown and he grabbed my hand and pulled me outside around the side of the building. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, standing in front of me.

I didn't answer and looked away.

He touched my cheek gently and made me look at him. "What's wrong, Bella?" He asked again softly.

I knew at that moment that I was screwed. His beautiful liquid topaz eyes made it impossible for me to lie. I sighed and spilled the whole story. "I just hate the attention," I admitted.

A sad look crossed his features. "Do you hate _me_?"

That made me look at him, absolutely appalled. "No! Of course I don't, Jasper. I love you, remember?" Was it possible that someone as amazing and perfect as him would be as self-conscious as me?

He didn't look entirely convinced and looked away.

I grabbed his icy cold hands in mine and that caused him to look at me. Once I had his attention, I said slowly, "I love you, Jasper!" I stood on my tiptoes to kiss the spot on his neck behind his ear. "And don't ever think that I don't again. Got it?"

I felt him nod against my cheek and I pulled back to look at him. And this time, that shy smile of his that I adored was back. His smile only got bigger as he let go of one of my hands and we started walking to the cafeteria.

And at that moment, I didn't care about all the attention I'd gotten- the stares, the whispers- none of it mattered. I had found my soul mate, and that's all I cared about.

Alice practically knocked me over with a hug as soon as Jasper and I entered the cafeteria. "What took you so long?" She demanded. I could tell we would end up being best friends.

I laughed and hugged her back. "We were just talking."

She let go of me and led me to the table she and Edward were sitting at. Jasper and I sat down across from them and Edward frowned a bit. "I uh... I should go."

Alice pouted. "Do you have to?"

He gave her a meaningful look and she sighed. "Okay, fine." I had a feeling she was only speaking aloud for my benefit.

Edward bent down to kiss Alice before smiling apologetically at me and walking out of the cafeteria faster than I thought possible.

Alice rolled her eyes once he was gone. "Sorry about him. He just can't be around you for very long."

I knew why, which made me wonder... I turned to Jasper. "Why don't you have a problem?"

He smiled. "Your blood doesn't affect me." He seemed proud of this fact.

I watched as his expression slowly changed from happy to pissed off and looked to see what he and Alice were looking at.

Jessica, Lauren, and their posse were busy whispering and glancing over at our table. Obviously, I couldn't hear them, but Alice and Jasper could.

"What're they saying?" I asked.

Jasper didn't say anything but Alice turned back to me and said, "They're convinced that the only reason you're with Jazz is 'cause you slept with him. And that's why you won't talk..."

I could feel my cheeks heat up and I looked down at the table. "Oh."

My vision blurred and I realized I was crying.

Jasper touched my hand. "C'mon. Let's get out of here."

He helped me stand and picked my backpack up before grabbing my hand and leading me out of the cafeteria. I could hear the twin bitches laughing.

Jessica said loudly enough for the whole cafeteria to hear. "Aww. Did we make the slut cry?"

This just caused more tears to run down my face. It was bringing back too many memories.

I head Jasper growl at the same time a huge thud resonated throughout the room- as if someone had bashed their hand on the table.

I turned to see the blurry outline of Alice marching up to Lauren and Jessica's table.

I swiped at my tears so I could see clearly.

Alice got right up in both of their faces. "Fuck. Off! Both of you! Bella didn't do anything to you! So just fuck off and get over yourselves!"

They stared at her, stunned, as she walked up to Jasper and me and hugged me. I hugged her back, crying my eyes out again. I didn't deserve a friend like her.

"Shhh. It's okay, Bella. Why don't you go with Jazz. I'll cover for you."

I nodded and let Jasper lead me out of the cafeteria.

He led me out to the parking lot and it wasn't until he was holding my door open for me that I realized the meaning of Alice's words. "We're ditching?"

He nodded and gestured for me to get into the car.

I got in and he was in the driver's seat before I even had my seatbelt on.

My tears had subsided a bit and I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

Jasper grabbed my hand and he started the car and sped out of the parking lot. An immediate feeling of calm enveloped me.

"Where are we going?" I asked monotonously as I looked out my window at the blurred images of the trees that we sped past.

"I don't know."

I didn't question him any further. I was just glad to get out of that whole situation.

Memories of the last few years raced through my head. It was true- Phil _had_ raped me. Several times. Luckily, Renee, being the overly cautious mother she was, put me on birth control when I was sixteen, so I never got pregnant. I had, however, gotten more than a few STD's from that bastard. All curable, thank God, but because of it, I was always missing school to go to doctor's appointments I scheduled purposely during school so Renee would never find out.

This led to ton of rumors getting started. Rumors about me sleeping around with a different guy every week, things like that. I got the unwanted and untrue label as the school slut. And today had just brought all of the suppressed memories to the surface of my mind.

Jasper squeezed my hand lightly, bringing me back to reality. I blinked and realized he'd stopped the car outside a dense cluster of trees. "C'mon. I wanna show you something."

He was at my door in a second, helping me step out of the car without tripping.

Then he picked me up and swung me over his back so he was carrying me piggy-back style. "Close your eyes and hold on tight."

I didn't question it. I just wrapped my arms around him so tightly that if he were human, I would be choking him, and I snaked my legs around his waist.

"Ready?" He asked.

I nodded and buried my face in his shoulder blade, squeezing my eyes shut.

And then he was running, or I assumed that's what the wind whipping past my face meant.

When he stopped a few seconds later, I found myself unable to get over the shock of it all.

"Bella?" He said. "You okay?"

"I think I need help getting down."

He unhooked my arms from around his neck and I managed to untangle my legs by myself.

I jumped down and landed flat on my ass.

Jasper chuckled and helped me to me feet. "You okay?"

I nodded. "Just a little disoriented."

"Just sit for a bit." He said, gesturing to a fallen tree trunk.

I shook my head. "No. I'm fine."

"Okay then." He grabbed my hand and led me towards our destination.

After a minute of walking, the trees started to thin out and I could spot a clearing up ahead.

Jasper slipped his hands over my eyes and whispered into my ear. "No peeking."

I nodded and he guided me forward.

"Ok..." I felt his hands move out of the way. "Open your eyes."

My eyes fluttered open and I gasped. We were in a meadow, a small, absolutely beautiful meadow. Even in the dreary weather of Forks, it looked beautiful.

There was a small waterfall rushing into a tiny pond, and the lush green grass was dotted with pretty wildflowers.

"You like it?" Jasper asked.

"I love it," I breathed. "What is this place?" I turned around to look at him.

He shrugged. "Don't know exactly, but I'm the only one who knows it exists. It's where I come to think, or sometimes play guitar."

"It's beautiful."

He smiled. "Glad you like it."

He grabbed my hand and led me to the middle of the meadow, where he proceeded to lie down and stretch out on the wet grass.

He smiled up at me and patted the spot next to him.

I laughed and sat down cross-legged next to him.

We didn't speak for awhile. He closed his eyes and hummed under his breath while I watched him.

This was the first time I'd really gotten a good look at Jasper. He was different than anyone I'd ever met. He wasn't a prep or a jock, which were the kind of guys I was used to both at my old high school and my current one.

He didn't fit into exactly one typical stereotype. I could tell by his Buzzcocks shirt and his Social Distortion hoodie that I was still wearing that he was into punk. But he had the typical "emo" hair- sideswept bangs that covered half his face...

"What're you thinking about?" He asked. It was the first thing any of us had said in awhile.

"Nothing really. I'm just thinking about how different you are than any other guy I've met?"

He opened his topaz eyes to look at me and laughed. "Like me being a vampire isn't different enough?"

I smiled. "No. Not that. I'm just saying... even Emmett and Edward fit into a typical stereotype."

He nodded. "True." He was quiet for a minute before saying, "So am I a good different or bad different?"

I scooted closer to him and stretched out until I was lying next to him on the grass. The dew soaked through my clothes but I didn't care. "Good different," I said.

He rolled over onto his side and wrapped his arm around me so he could pull me closer to him. I shivered as his lips found my neck and he kissed it. "Good."

I rolled over so I could look him in the eye. "I love you."

He kissed my cheek. "I love you too, Bella."

I snuggled as close to him as I possibly could and he held me tight. "So you wanna talk?"

I groaned. "I was hoping you wouldn't ask."

"You don't have to tell me."

I sighed. "Might as well."

He waited patiently and after taking a deep breath, I told him about the details I'd left out the last time. By the time I was done I was crying again.

He rubbed my back gently and let me cry all my pain out. He didn't try to alter my mood too much except for to calm me down.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

I shrugged. "He's in jail now. That's more than I could ever hope for."

"But how could someone _do_ something like that to you?"

I shrugged.

He hugged me closer to him and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. "Well you're safe now. I'll make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again."

His words caused my heart to swell. "I don't deserve you."

"Nonsense."

I didn't argue with him.

For what seemed to be the millionth time today, I realized how lucky I was to have someone like Jasper who cared about me this much- someone who I knew I would always be loved by.

I nuzzled my face into his shirt as he continued to rub my back. He started humming under his breath again so I asked, "Jasper? Can you sing to me?"

I knew he was smiling when he said, "Sure."

_It's been a year  
Filled with problems  
But now you're here  
Almost as if to solve them  
And I can't live  
In a world without you now_

_  
All my life  
I've been searching for you  
How did I survive  
In this world before you  
Cause I don't want to live  
Another day without you now_

I smiled. "Really?" I asked, referring to the song.

He smiled back. "Really. I don't think I'd be able to live without you."

"Keep singing."

He laughed. "As you wish."

_  
This is the best thing  
The best thing that could be happening  
And I think you would agree  
The best thing is that its happening to you and me_

I did agree with that. His song choices were always so spot on. This one described us to a tee.

_  
All I want to have  
Is all that you can give me  
And I'll give right back  
Everything I have in me  
Cause nothing ever felt as right  
As this does right now_

_I'll go back  
To before we met  
Try and erase the past  
Try harder to forget  
Cause nothing will ever be as good  
As here and now_

He looked right into my eyes as he sang the next verse.

_  
Cause when I looked into your eyes  
And you dared to stare right back  
You should've said nice to meet you, I'm your other half_

He stopped singing then and just smiled at me.

I was left speechless and it was a good few minutes later before I was able to stutter, "T-That was so... beautiful."

"You're even more beautiful."

I blushed, which made him laugh.

We lay there in silence for a few minutes before he said, "Bella?"

"Hm?" I lifted my head to look at him. His gorgeous liquid topaz eyes caused my heart to skip a beat.

He chuckled, obviously hearing my erratic heartbeat. "There's been something I've been waiting to do for such a long time?"

I looked at him questioningly so he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

I was stunned. I never thought this moment would ever come.

My heartbeat sped up as I nodded mutely.

He smiled and tightened his grip on my waist before leaning in.

I'd never been kissed before, but it was as if my body knew exactly what to do.

My eyes fluttered shut as his lips touched mine and I immediately started kissing him back.

I felt a droplet of water hit my face as we kissed and Jasper pulled back as the rain started coming down faster. He looked up at the dark cloudy sky, as the rain soaked us even more. "It's raining," he commented.

"So?" I asked.

He turned back to me and flashed me a smile.

I smiled back before wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him again.

He responded immediately and rolled over onto his back, pulling me on top of him and never breaking the kiss.

We kissed for a long time, only stopping so I could breathe, as the rain beat relentlessly on us.

I freakin' loved the rain!

* * *

**A/N**: Well, here ya go! Chapter 5... I must say, I'm pretty disappointed in your guys. NONE (except 2) of you got the freakin' "Juno" reference in chapter 4! oO It was "Pie Balls" by the way... anyhoo, because she was the first one to get it, this chapter is dedicated to ecaniaga because she is freakin' awesome! And as usual, this whole fic is dedicated to BlessedBeACullen! Oh, and the song used here was "The Best Thing" by Relient K and it was just sooo perfect for this fic, I couldn't NOT use it! Listen to it, it's amazing! Oh, almost forgot, I kinda like writing Nice Edward! XD I mean, i like him better when he's either insane or with Alice, cuz when he's with Bella, I just automatically hate him... lol

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing!!


	6. Gone Away

**(Jasper's POV)**

We stayed in the meadow for hours, kissing, laughing, and just talking.

Bella snuggled into my chest and rested her head on my shoulder and I automatically hugged her closer to me. She was so beautiful...

I couldn't believe that this amazing girl was in love with a monster like me. I didn't deserve her.

I kissed the top of her head and said, "I love you, Bella."

She sighed contently. "I love you more."

I smiled. "Impossible."

We stayed like that for several minutes before I asked, "Are you cold?" It never occurred to me that she would be until her body temperature dropped to just a little warmer than me. She was shaking slightly.

"Nope." She contradicted herself when she shivered. I could tell she was trying not to by the way her body tensed up. Once she realized it was a lost cause she relaxed and shivered again and muttered, "Now that you mention it..."

I stood up and picked her up bridal style before she could blink. "Hold on."

She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly and squeezed her eyes shut.

I ran to the car and set her in the passenger seat and started the car to get the heat going. I spotted a few blankets in the backseat and realized that Alice must have had a vision and put them there.

I grabbed one as I got into the driver's seat and wrapped it around Bella tightly.

As I started driving away, I turned the heat up and flipped the stereo on. The Dropkick Murphys blasted out of the speakers.

Bella's eyes widened. "You... listen to the Dropkick Murphys?" Her teeth had stopped chattering as she warmed up slowly.

I smiled and nodded. "Love 'em."

"Sunshine Highway" ended and then my absolute favorite song, "Wicked Sensitive Crew" started. I tapped my fingers to the beat of the familiar guitars laced with the screech of bagpipes.

Bella grinned and started singing at the same time I did.

_Well it's all gone to hell now the wimps have gangs  
Pop punk tough guys with neck tattoos  
Well if you guys are hard then I'd rather be soft  
Man I gotta find me some seriously sensitive dudes!_

She laughed as I took the chorus. "I love this song!"

We were both laughing our asses off by the third verse.

_In Sydney they misunderstood us  
They called us thugs and mean-spirited types  
Yeah we might not be Swedish  
And we sure ain't vegan  
But do thugs have posters on their bedroom wall of the dude  
from the Darkness in a creepy meat suit zippered so low you  
can practically see his...  
_

I was pulling up to Bella's house by the time "Tessie" ended. (A/N: Red Sox!!)

I shut off the engine and went to her side to help her out. She clung to me desperately and refused to let go. "I don't want you to go."

I chuckled. "Bella, I'm only gonna be gone for fifteen minutes. You won't even notice because you'll be taking a hot shower so you don't get sick. I'll be back before you know it."

She pouted, which made her look adorable. "Fine. But you'd better be back."

I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I didn't pull back far to say, "I'll be back soon. I promise."

Bella kissed me one last time before disappearing inside the house.

* * *

**(Bella's POV) **

As soon as I shut the door, Charlie called, "Bells? That you?"

"Yeah." I followed his voice into the living room, where he was sprawled out on the couch, eating pizza and watching the game.

"Have fun with Alice?" He asked.

"Huh?"

"She called to tell me that you guys were shopping in Seattle after school today."

"Oh. Yeah... it was fun," I said, playing along and silently thanking God for Alice. "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower now."

"Okay. I got pizza."

I zipped upstairs to my room and grabbed my pajamas before locking myself in the bathroom.

I turned on the hot water and waited for it to reach the right temperature as I stripped off my soaking clothes (including Jasper's hoodie) and tossed them in the hamper.

My heart was still racing from this afternoon and I had to force myself to calm down, which was almost impossible because as soon as I started thinking about Jasper, my heart would soar all over again.

I stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over me and warm me up. I took a twenty minute shower, which is longer than usual, but I was trying to pass the time.

I shut off the water after I was squeaky clean and warm before stepping out of the shower carefully and wrapping a towel around myself.

I slipped into the black tank top and pink Happy Bunny pajama bottoms I brought in with me before brushing out my hair and deciding that I've wasted enough time.

I told myself that he probably wasn't back yet, I didn't want to get my hopes up.

But when I opened the door to my room and stepped in, there he was, sitting in the rocking chair.

I squealed and ran to him and he pulled me down onto his lap with a laugh.

I snuggled closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I missed you," I mumbled.

"I was only gone for fifteen minutes, Bella," he replied. His arms were wrapped around me tightly and he wasn't as cold as usual due to the thick hoodie he wore.

"It felt like longer." I pulled back to look at him. He'd changed into a Anti-Flag shirt with a black Ramones hoodie and a dry pair of ripped skinny jeans. And his blond hair was messy and still damp, as if he had towel dried it.

I smiled and touched his cheek gently. "I love you."

His arms tightened around me, making me feel safe, like nothing could ever hurt me again. "I love you too, Bella."

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt so... peaceful. I hadn't been this content for a really long time.

The silence was broken when my stomach growled... really loudly, I might add.

Jasper chuckled. "Are you hungry?"

"How'd you know?" I asked in mock surprise. I got off of his lap. "I'm just gonna get a few slices of pizza. But I'll be back."

"I'm not going anywhere."

I glanced at him one last time before leaving the room and jetting downstairs.

Charlie was still watching TV. "Any pizza left?" I asked.

"In the kitchen." He didn't turn his attention away from the TV.

I walked into the kitchen and realized that Charlie and I had barely said anything to each other since I'd arrived. How was he coping with everything?

I put three slices of pizza on a paper plate and then walked back to the living room. "Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?" He didn't look at me.

"Are... you okay...?"

That got his attention. He put the TV on mute and sat up to look at me. I could see the sadness in his eyes. He missed her.

I repeated my question. "Are you okay?"

He sighed. "I'm coping. But I'll be fine..."

"Okay then..." I couldn't think of anything else to say and he turned his attention back to the game.

I walked back upstairs to my room.

Jasper smiled as I stepped through the door but it quickly turned to a frown as he picked up on my emotions. "What's wrong, Bella?"

I shook my head and sat down on my bed. "Just thinking." I picked up one of the slices of pizza and took a bite.

Jasper was sitting down next to me on the bed in a split second. He touched my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and sighed. "I'm fine. It's Charlie I'm worried about. I just realized that we've barely spoken to each other since I got here..."

He picked up my plate of food and set it on my desk before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close to him. "He'll be fine. He's just grieving, he loved her."

"I guess you're right. I just wish there was something I could do to help."

"Just let him deal with it on his own."

"What's he feeling right now?"

"Sadness, regret... guilt. Nothing unusual."

Charlie's sadness reminded me of my happiness, and I felt guilty. Jasper asked, "What're you feeling guilty about?"

"I'm happy," I answered. He looked at me questioningly so I elaborated. "I'm happy, and I feel guilty that Charlie's still in so much pain." I paused and then muttered. "And because I feel like I'm forgetting about her, like I shouldn't be happy, because she's gone." I could feel the tears building up and as I blinked they spilled over.

Jasper crushed me to his chest and held me tight while I cried harder.

"Shhh. Bella, it's okay. Calm down."

I clung to him tightly and sobbed into his shirt.

He pulled me onto his lap and rubbed my back gently.

Little by little, I felt my body relax, but I still cried.

Jasper continued to hold me and rub my back as I sobbed out all my pain.

"God, I'm such a mess! How can you stand to be with someone like me?" I managed to choke out between sobs.

"Because I know how much you miss her, it's a lot for you to have to deal with."

The tears didn't stop for a long time but eventually they slowed and I was left sniffling and clinging to Jasper like my life depended on it.

I head him humming a very familiar guitar riff. It was the song I'd been listening to constantly since she died...

Then he started singing quietly, as if subconsciously.

_Maybe in another life  
I could find you there  
Pulled away before your time  
I can't deal, it's so unfair_

_And it feels, and it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it feels, yeah it feels like  
The world has grown cold  
Now that you've gone away_

I joined him on the next verse.

_  
Leaving flowers on your grave  
To show that I still care  
But black roses and Hail Mary's  
Can't bring back what's taken from me_

He seemed to snap out of it then and he stopped singing. He dropped his head in embarrassment. "Sorry. That was probably a bad song choice."

"No!" I practically yelled. I lowered my voice a little to say, "It was perfect. It was her favorite song by The Offspring. I mean, she didn't like 'em that much, but that song was always the one she turned up the volume in the car for when it came on the radio..." I drifted off and let my thoughts wander.

I knew Renee wouldn't want me to cry over her, she was too optimistic for that. She'd want me to be happy.

I found myself picturing how she would react if she knew about Jasper, the questions she'd ask like, "Is he cute?"

"What're you thinking about, gorgeous?"

I blushed a bit at his nickname for me and said, "Just thinking about what'd she say about you."

"Would she like me?"

"She'd love you," I said truthfully. Who wouldn't love him? He was sweetest, most amazing person I'd ever met.

I could just picture the smile on his face. "Good."

I nuzzled my nose into his shirt and stifled a yawn.

"You're exhausted," he commented.

"Yeah? So?" I _was_ exhausted. Too much drama can suck the life out of a person.

"Go to sleep."

"K, fine. Lemme just brush my teeth first."

got off his lap and walked to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face and brush my teeth. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying.

I made my way back to my room where Jasper had folded the covers on my bed back for me.

I crawled under the covers and waited for him to lie down next to me over the covers, but he didn't.

Instead he unzipped his hoodie and took it off, revealing the sleeves of a long-sleeved gray thermal under his shirt. He threw the jacket to me. "Put this on."

"Why?" I wasn't complaining, just curious. I put the hoodie on quickly and zipped it up.

My questions were answered as he pulled back the blanket and crawled into bed next to me.

I smiled. "Oh, now I get it."

He laughed and pulled me into his arms. I immediately snuggled as close to him as I possibly could and buried my face in his shoulder, letting his amazing scent calm me down.

I felt him kiss the top of my head. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too Jazzy," I think I said, I was too tired to really notice what I was saying.

The last thing I heard before drifting off to sleep was him laughing softly, his cool breath tickling my face.

* * *

**A/N**: Wow... even more depressing than I anticipated, but I surprise myself a lot. Anyhoo, here's the next chapter! I decided to update now to celebrate the fact that my midterms are finally fuckin' OVER!! woot woot! Well, I still have guitar, but that class is super super easy for me 'cause it's beginner and I've been playing for 7 years... Anyway, moving right along, I used 2 songs in this chapter, first was "Wicked Sensitive Crew" by Boston's own, Dropkick Murphys! I may not live there anymore, but I still love my hometown. Wooo!! Go Red Sox! lol Yeah, so I used that song just to kinda bring some lightheartedness to this fic, cuz I think it needed it. And cuz that song is the shit! lol. And the last song was "Gone Away" by The Offspring, which is fuckin' amazing and I'm pretty sure most of you have heard it, unless you don't listen to the radio like at all... Send me reviews!! Preferably ones that are more than just, "Update soon" and "I love it!" cuz I need feedback. Plus, reviews that get more in depth are way more fun to read. And I'll admit, I'm guilty of sending the generic "update!!" review so I won't hate you if that's all you say... just try to make 'em interesting! Mmmkay, so this A/N is getting really long... so last but not least, this fic is dedicated to BlessedBeACullen.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing!! Dropkick Murphys and The Offspring own the songs!!


	7. Attack Of The Fluff!

**(Jasper's POV)**

Jazzy? That was a new one. No one except Alice has a nickname for me, and she usually just calls me Jazz. But I decided that I liked my new nickname, as long as it was Bella saying it.

I watched her sleep for a long time. She looked so peaceful, and a smile graced her features.

I kissed her forehead gently and she squirmed a bit but didn't wake up. "I love you, my angel," I whispered.

It pained me to think about everything she had endured over the years.

I thought back to the incident in the cafeteria.

**-Flashback-**

_One minute I was just sitting there, enjoying being with Bella, and the next, I hear, "God! I hate that bitch! Who does she think she is?"_

_I exchanged a glance with Alice before we both turned to the two individuals talking, Jessica and Lauren. Both have flirted shamelessly with me for the last two years, which annoyed me to no end. They think that showing off their boobs will make me fall head over heels for them._

_They kept glancing over at our table and then putting their heads together to whisper to each other._

_Lauren said, "She's such a slut. I'll bet that's the only reason why they're together. She'll sleep with anyone."_

_Jessica laughed, "And even if it's not true, even though it __totally is, we'll make __everyone in the school believe it!"_

_They both cracked up at that._

_"What're they talking about?" Bella asked innocently._

_I refrained from saying anything, but Alice, who's always been really honest, told her._

_"Oh." Bella's face fell and I could feel her sinking into a state of depression again._

_And that's when the tears started._

**-End Flashback**-

I tightened my grip on Bella's waist as I thought about anyone making her feel sad or worthless, which unfortunately was something she was far too used to.

She smiled in her sleep and nuzzled her nose into my t-shirt. "Is that a unicorn? Hm, who painted the kitten?"

I stifled a laugh at her sleep-talking.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**(Bella's POV)**

I woke up to bright, albeit weak, sunlight hitting my face the next morning.

I opened one eye and quickly shut it to avoid going blind.

I heard Jasper chuckle at my reaction. "Morning sleepyhead."

"What time is it?" I mumbled and rolled over so I could snuggle into his chest. I didn't open my eyes.

"It's about nine. Charlie already went to work."

"What about school?" I didn't really care, I didn't want to go anyways.

"It's Saturday silly."

"Oh, okay."

He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "Go back to sleep, babe."

"Mmkay." I nuzzled my nose into his shirt and let myself drift back to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up again sometime way later, and much more well rested. I rolled over and came face to face with Jasper. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. "You stayed!"

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. "Of course I did."

"What time is it?"

"About three. You should get up now."

"Yeah, I guess so." I suddenly realized that I most likely had horrible morning breath... and that I was breathing right in Jasper's face.

I clapped my hand over my mouth, horrified.

"What's wrong?" He asked, confusion written all over his god-like face.

I just shook my head and then got out of bed before heading to the bathroom.

I brushed my teeth at least twice before I was sure my breath didn't stink anymore and I headed back to my room.

Jasper was still stretched out on my bed, and when I entered the room, he raised an eyebrow and asked, "_That's_ why you freaked out? 'Cause you thought your breath stunk?"

I shrugged. "Can't be too careful."

I walked over to my closet and picked out a pair of slightly faded skinny jeans and an equally, if not more faded Ramones shirt. "I'll be right back."

I went back to the bathroom to change.

When I came back, Jasper was leaning against the wall next to my window and he lifted his head to look at me when I entered the room.

I rushed over to him and threw myself into his arms. He picked me up and hugged me close as I buried my face in his shoulder. "I love you Jasper."

He chuckled and kissed my cheek. "I love you too, Bella." He set me down and I pulled back to look at him.

"I have a question."

"What is it?"

"How come you don't burn in the sun?" I'd been thinking about that for quite some time now.

He laughed. "I figured you'd ask eventually, which explains why Alice called to tell me it would be sunny today..." I could tell he and Alice were close.

"So, why can you all walk around during the day?"

"Well, we don't burn, but we do _something_. And only when it's direct sunlight. As long as there's cloud cover, we're fine. That's why we live in Forks, it's always overcast."

Now I was more than a little confused and Jasper smiled and kissed me. "Why don't we go back to the meadow and I'll show you."

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest, thinking about the idea of spending the whole day with him in our meadow. "That sounds amazing."

He picked me up and brought me out to his car, and before I knew it, we were speeding to our destination.

He held my hand the whole time, while I thought about what he'd told me, and trying to figure out the answer.

Before I knew it, he was parking the car and holding my door open for me. "We'll hike this time, if you want to."

"That sounds like a good idea," I replied, remembering how disoriented I'd felt last time and knowing I did _not_ want to experience that again.

I'll spare you the boring details and just say that the hike involved klutzy ol' me falling on my ass several times (or almost, I guess. Jasper usually caught me), lots of talking, and a lot of time for me to ask about the surprise (with little results).

The dense forest of trees prevented any sunlight from penetrating through the leaves to the ground, but as we neared our destination, the foliage cleared a bit and I could see faint glimmers of sunlight poking through the treetops.

By the time we reached the edge of the clearing, I saw just how bright it was. It wasn't as sunny as I was used to in Phoenix, but it was bright for Forks. Thank God it wasn't as hot though, I probably would have died! That was the one thing I hated about Phoenix, the heat (A/N: And that I still hate about California! God damn! It's been fuckin' blazing here and I don't have AC in half of my school!)

The meadow looked even more beautiful in the sunlight. The dew that stuck to the ground glistened and sparkled and the grass seemed greener somehow...

Jasper turned to me. "Ready to find out the secret?"

I nodded.

I was _not_ prepared for what happened next... Jasper pulled his shirt up over his head.

I think I stopped breathing because he turned to me and flashed that gorgeous smile of his. "Breathe, Bella."

I forced air into my lungs, trying to anticipate what was gonna happen next.

I saw Jasper close his eyes and then take a step out of the shade and into the sun....

He looked beyond God-like at that moment, with his skin sparkling like a million diamonds in the sunlight.

He turned to me and smiled my favorite shy smile as he held his hand out to me.

I took his cold hand in my warm one and stepped into the sun with him where he pulled me close to him. "Does this answer your question?"

I nodded mutely, still speechless at how gorgeous my boyfriend was.

I didn't deserve someone as loving and caring as him. He was too good for me...

He let out an exasperated sigh, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Please, Bella, just stop feeling whatever your feeling. You're _not_ worthless."

"Yes I am." That was all I'd ever heard for the better part of my life, and it was hard for me to see it any other way.

He pulled back to look me in the eye and I could see how tormented he felt because of me. "Listen to me Bella. You are _not_ worthless! I love you and I think you're amazing."

I could feel the tears well up. "I don't deserve you."

He shook his head and pulled me back into his arms. "No, don't say that."

"It's true!" I sobbed. "No one else cares about me."

He picked me up and carried me to the center of the meadow before sitting down with me in his lap. I clung to him desperately and sobbed. I couldn't help feeling worthless.

"Bella, you may not believe me, but I _know_ people care about you. Alice loves you, Edward cares about you, so does Emmett."

When I said nothing, he continued. "I know Charlie loves you, and your mom still loves you... but mostly I just need you to know that _I_ love you. And I always will."

While I knew the truth to his words, my brain had a hard time believing it.

He didn't say anything else, he just let me think and calm down.

After a few minutes, I picked my head up off his bare chest to look at him. I sniffled. "I love you Jasper."

He smiled. "I love you too, Bella. Don't ever forget that."

His smile was contagious and I soon found myself with a goofy grin on my face. "I won't."

He leaned down to give me a a kiss.

"I don't deserve you," I breathed.

"Stop saying that."

"Sorry. Can't help it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We stayed in the meadow for hours. It would still take a while- months, maybe even years- before I could begin to really build up my self-confidence and believe everything Jasper told me. But by the end of the day, things started looking up a little, and I _started_ to believe him.

Jasper and I lay in the grass hand and hand looking up at the stars that had started to appear.

Without turning to look at him, I whispered, "I love you, Jasper."

He scooted closer to me and I rolled over so my head rested on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and stroked my hair. "I love you too, Bells."

It was the first time since he'd called me anything but Bella.

He noticed my confusion... and misinterpreted it. "Oh crap! I'm sorry, do you not want me to call you that?"

I laughed. "No, I don't mind at all. I like it." It was moments like that that reminded me that he was just as self-conscious as me, which is one of the reasons why I loved him so much.

He laughed with me and relaxed as he went back to stroking my hair. He was silent for a few minutes before he said, "I like my new nickname too, by the way."

"Huh?"

He chuckled. "You called me Jazzy last night, I think you were just really out of it, but I like that name."

I smiled and picked my head up to kiss his cheek. "Okay then. I love you, Jazzy."

I saw the smile on his face widen and he pulled me on top of him, causing me to squeal in shock. However, I quickly calmed down and buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent and smiling from ear to ear.

"You're much happier now," he commented.

"Yeah, sorry about earlier. I have my moments."

"It's okay. I still love you."

After a few more hours, Jasper said, "Maybe we should get going now."

I shook my head vigorously and clung to him. "I don't wanna go anywhere."

"Charlie will be worried."

"He's still at work." Charlie always worked really late, to avoid the real world.

"Okay then, we won't leave yet."

I caught myself thinking, 'I don't deserve him', but I quickly stopped that thought in it's tracks. I told myself that I wouldn't be feeling worthless anymore, despite how impossible that might be to stick to...

"I'm tired of living in the past," I blurted out. "There's no use dwelling on it. From now I'm, I'm gonna focus on the here and now. Nothing else."

Jasper tightened his grip around me and kissed my cheek. "And I'll help you stick to that."

I turned my face to kiss him on the lips. "I love you," I said for the millionth time that day. I didn't want him to ever forget it.

"And you're the love of my life," he told me, causing me to blush.

He just laughed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N**: Ok, so this was more just pure fluff and sappiness, which every fic needs, don't ya think? =] Send me interesting reviews!!!!!!!! Once again, this fic is dedicated to BlessedBeACullen! Oh yeah, dedication in the next chapter for whoever gets the Avenue Q reference!!!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing!


	8. Listen To The Dropkick Murphys! XD

**(Jasper's POV)**

We stayed in the meadow until well after the sun set and I was happy that Bella was finally starting to think highly of herself. It pained me to see her feeling worthless.

And it pissed me off to think it was all because of one evil, evil son of a bitch. Who knew that one person could cause such devastation in a person.

While I was lost in thought, Bella drifted off to sleep and it took me a few minutes to realize it. But I did when I glanced at her and noticed her eyes were shut and her breathing had slowed down.

I chuckled softly to myself and moved carefully so I wouldn't wake her up, before picking her up and walking back to my car.

I set her down in the backseat, so she could stretch out and proceeded to drive back to her house- at a normal speed. I didn't want her crashing through the windshield.

She woke up as I was carrying her to her house. "Wh-where am I?" She asked groggily as she stirred in my arms.

I smiled. "You fell asleep. We're at your house now, darlin'."

"You're not gonna leave, are you?" Her chocolate brown eyes widened in anxiety as she feared my answer.

"No, of course not," I replied, appeasing her fears.

She visibly relaxed as I opened the front door and carried her through the dark, empty, old house. Charlie was still at work.

Bella noticed, and I noticed her emotions shift to from relief to sadness. "What's wrong, Bells?" I asked her.

"It's Charlie again. He's never gotten over her. Ever since she left him, he never got over her. He still loves her... I remember coming here every summer and seeing pictures of her all around the house. Pictures of her with me as a baby, pictures of their wedding day... And now that she's gone..." She trailed off.

I nodded knowingly. "You're worried that he'll never get over her."

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder.

I made my way to her bedroom and set her down on the bed. She immediately crawled into my lap and curled up there as I wrapped my arms around her waist.

We stayed like that in silence for several minutes before it was broken by the front door slamming- Charlie was home.

Bella's despair multiplied tenfold, and there was nothing I could do about it, because Charlie really _was_ depressed.

"I think I just wanna go to sleep," my angel whispered before getting off my lap and going to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

She turned the shower on, but I could hear her sobs from here. She'd either turned it on so I wouldn't hear, or she was crying in the shower.

She walked into the room with damp hair and bloodshot eyes fifteen minutes later, confirming the latter.

I didn't say anything, I just held my arms open, which she welcomed gratefully, crawling back into my lap and pressing her face into my shirt.

I moved a bit so I was leaning against her headboard.

"What'd I do to deserve you?" She muttered.

"Stop saying things like that."

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault."

More silence and then, "I miss her!"

It sounded like a random statement but I had a feeling that Bella had been thinking about her mother for quite a while now. "Tell me about her," I suggested.

Once again, more silence. "You don't have too," I added nervously, afraid I'd said the wrong thing.

She laughed a little. "You're so cute when you're nervous... don't worry, you didn't say the wrong thing. I'll tell you."

I moved one of my hands to her hair, running my fingers through it as I waited for her to start. I decided to help her out, "What was she like before... everything."

"She was a total scatterbrain," my angel said with a hint of a smile. "I had to make sure she paid the bills and bought groceries and picked up her dry cleaning... She was my best friend. And she was always moving onto a new hobby every week, dragging me along to different classes every week."

"Like what?"

"Yoga, pottery... hip-hop dancing."

I laughed at the mental image of that.

"Yeah, that last one was a disaster. We were too white." She giggled at the memory.

"That's an understatement. You're fuckin' albino!"

She burst out laughing and grabbed my hand. "Look who's talking!"

I looked down at our intertwined hands and realized she was right. _I_ was the albino!

"Guess you're right."

She calmed down within a few minutes and let out a content sigh. "That made me feel a lot better- talking about her, I mean."

"I knew it would."

She let out a huge yawn at that moment.

"Are you gonna go to sleep now?" I asked, already knowing her response.

She shook her head vigorously despite the fact that she could barely keep her eyes open.

I shifted a bit and moved the blanket so it was covering the both of us before lifting her off of my lap and setting her down next to me.

She snuggled up next to me and draped her arm around my waist. "Go to sleep," I told her as I wrapped my arm around her securely.

She shook her head stubbornly again. "No, I don't wanna."

I chuckled. "I'll stay with you, Bella. I'm not leaving."

"Don't care. I don't wanna sleep."

I knew I could just make her feel sleepy but I didn't think that was fair, so I didn't.

She fell asleep on her own before long.

* * *

**(Bella's POV)**

The rest of the weekend passed by in much of the same manner- spending the whole day (and night) with Jasper, Charlie avoiding everything...

And before I knew it, it was dreaded Monday. The day that I knew I would have to encounter the bitches- Jessica and Lauren.

"I don't wanna go to school," I told Jasper when I woke up.

He kissed me on the lips. "I know, sweetheart. But I don't think you should miss anymore school. Plus, I think Alice took care of those two."

I buried my face in his shirt. "Yeah, I know. But now _everyone_ will be staring at me and whispering about me... I hate it!"

"If they do, I'll sic Emmett on 'em."

That made me laugh. "That sounds like a good idea," I said, remembering how big Emmett was.

He let me stay in bed for a few more minutes before he told me, "Okay, now you really gotta get moving."

I groaned. "Fine." I threw the covers back and walked over to my closet.

I picked up the first t-shirt I found, which happened to be an old Pennywise shirt that I got on th Warped Tour, a pair of jeans, and a hoodie before going to the bathroom to change and brush my hair and teeth.

When I went back to my room, I was surprised to see that Jasper wasn't there.

"Jasper?" I called, as I walked downstairs to find him.

I found him in the kitchen, making me a toasted bagel with cream cheese for breakfast.

"Oh, thanks," I said as he set it in front of me. It wasn't until then that I realized how hungry I was and I devoured the bagel quickly.

"Ready to go?" He asked me when I was finished.

"No."

He chuckled softly. "Let's get going, Bells."

"Fine." I pushed my chair back and followed him out to his car.

He held my hand on the ride to school, and he drove at the speed limit, because he knew I hated the high speeds he usually drove at.

The Dropkick Murphys blasted out of the speakers again, but it was a different album- their newest one, "The Meanest of Times".

"You really like them, huh?"

"Hellz yeah! They're just... amazing! Indescribable."

"Yeah, they are," I agreed. The Dropkick Murphys were one of my favorite bands.

Thinking about that made me wonder... "Where are you from anyways?"

"Random question."

"Well, yeah, kinda. But the Dropkick Murphys always write songs about Boston so I was just wondering, where are you from?"

"Oh, that makes sense." He glanced at me before turning back to the road. "I'm from Texas. Houston, Texas."

"So, what's your story?"

He didn't answer, and I knew he heard me. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. What was the question?"

I laughed a little and repeated my earlier question.

"Oh... Uh, It's a long story."

I could tell he didn't wanna talk about it, so I dropped the subject and focused on the music. My favorite song on the album, "Fairmount Hill", started and I mouthed the words.

Jasper actually sang along.

_Last night as I lay dreaming of pleasant days gone by  
My mind was bent on rambling to Boston I did fly  
I stepped on board a vision and I followed with the wind  
When next I came to anchor at the rocks on Fairmount Hill_

_It was on the 23rd of June the day before the fair  
When Boston's sons and daughters and friends assembled there  
The young, the old, the brave, and the bold  
Came their duty to fulfill  
At the parish church on Thatcher, a mile from Fairmount Hill_

_I went to see old friends there, to see what they might say  
The old ones were all dead and gone, the young ones turning gray  
I met the broker Hughes, he's as odd as ever still  
See I used to crash at his mother's house, when I hung on Fairmount Hill_

_I paid a flying visit to my first and only love  
She's as white as any lily, and as gentle as a dove_

He glanced at me and smiled when he sang that line, causing me to blush.

_  
She threw her arm around me saying, "Andy I love you still"  
Oh, she's one miss Bazo Bailey, the pride of Fairmount Hill  
_

We got to school by the end of the song, but even after he turned the car off, neither of us made a move to get out.

"I'm scared," I admitted.

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "There's nothing to be scared about, Bells."

"But I sit right next to Jessica in Spanish and you're only in one of my classes."

"Just ignore her."

"That's impossible."

"True... Listen, I'll transfer into all of your classes if I have to, or Alice will at least. Actually, she probably already did. Does that make you feel better?"

I remembered how Alice had defended me in the cafeteria and nodded.

"Good, now you think you can handle it all?"

I sighed. "I'll try. Let's go." I made a move to open my door but Jasper was there before me, opening it for me and helping me out of the car.

He pulled me into his arms and held me tight. "I love you, Bells."

"I love you too, Jazzy." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

I heard another car pull into the parking spot next to Jasper's car, and knew it was Edward's Volvo without even looking.

Jasper let me go just in time for Alice to jump me and hug me tightly. "Bella!!!" She squealed.

"Alice!!!" I screamed back with a laugh. Her good mood was contagious.

"I transferred into all of your classes... except biology," she informed me before finally letting me go so I could breathe.

"Aww, thanks!" I was genuinely grateful for that, because I didn't think I could survive the day without someone who cared about me with me.

The bell rang, signaling the start of the school day.

Alice skipped over to Edward to give him a kiss, leaving me with Jasper. He pulled me into his arms and leaned down to kiss me. "Good luck. I'll see you at lunch, Bells."

I pressed my cheek to his chest, not quite ready to leave yet. "I love you, Jazzy," I whispered.

He rubbed my back gently. "I love you too, Bells. Don't let those bitches get to you."

I pulled back eventually. "I'll try not to."

He smiled. "Good. Now get to class."

I laughed and walked over to Alice, who grabbed my hand, and together we skipped to class.

* * *

**A/N**: Kk, so new chapter! =] Kind of a filler at the end, but the rest is pretty significant for what's gonna happen next. Now, onto those dedications for the last chapter... First, **ecaniaga**. =] And then a dedication also to **Moonshadow of Shadowclan**. And then to **Ladyroo 88** for trying. =] Send me reviews!!!

And also, the song I used in this chapter was "Fairmount Hill" by The Dropkick Murphys, which is a damn good kickass song on a kickass album, _**"The Meanest of Times".**_ Check both of those out, especially if you like Irish-inspired music... ya know, even though their from Boston. lol. But they're Celt-Punk, so check em out!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing and BlessedBeACullen owns the idea!


	9. Shopping With Alice

**(Bella's POV)**

The day actually wasn't too bad. Sure, people stared and whispered. But as soon as they started, Alice shot a death glare at them and they quickly shut up.

Spanish was the hardest.

Before the bell rang, Jessica slid into her seat and glanced at me. I quickly looked away, but not before seeing her mouth the word, "slut".

I turned my attention to my notes.

"Hey, bitch!" I heard Alice whisper. I looked up to see Jessica look at her innocently.

"Yeah, you," she continued. "Say one word to Bella and I swear to God I will make your life a living hell!"

Jessica just rolled her eyes.

"Oh you think I'm joking? Or you're thinking there's no possible way that little ol' Alice could beat _you_ up?" She reached across my desk to grab Jessica's arm.

"Ow!" She complained.

Alice just tightened her grip.

"Let go, Alice," I pleaded. I didn't want anyone getting hurt.

Alice shot one last glare at Jessica before dropping her arm.

The rest of Spanish went without incident, and then it was time for lunch. I was anxious to see Jasper again, though Alice had made the day much easier so far.

"Thanks," I told her, as we gathered up our stuff to head to the cafeteria.

She smiled. "No problem." She eyed my old beat up t-shirt and jeans. "We _have_ to go shopping sometime."

I laughed, already knowing that Alice was into fashion based on the designer clothes she wore. "Sure, that sounds fun." I usually hated shopping but I had a feeling it wouldn't be so bad with Alice.

"How about today after school?"

"Sounds great."

We made out way to the cafeteria and sat at our usual table.

Jasper joined us a few minutes later. "Hey gorgeous," he said as he sat down next to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek, which made me blush.

"Hey Jazz."

"How's school been so far?"

"Jessica already almost got her ass kicked by Alice."

He laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like Alice."

She just smiled innocently.

* * *

Biology passed with no problems, and before I knew it, the last bell was ringing and I was skipping with Alice out to the parking lot.

Truth be told, I was a little nervous. Jasper wouldn't be with us, and I get anxious in big crowds of people.

We stopped in front of yet another of the expensive cars that I had come to expect from the Cullens. This one was a bright yellow 911 Turbo Porsche.

Jasper's black Porsche was no where to be found and I panicked, hoping he hadn't already left yet. I tried to hide it... but apparently I failed.

Alice laughed. "Calm down Bella! You're heart's beating out of your chest right now. Jasper's still here. He just drove my car over for me. He's leaving with Edward."

Thank God.

As if on cue, Jasper and Edward appeared next to the Volvo. "Hey gorgeous," Jasper said, pulling me into his arms.

"Hey Jazz," I muttered, burying my face in his shirt. I already felt better.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay without me?"

Truthfully, I wasn't sure, but I nodded anyway.

He kissed my cheek. "Okay then, you should probably get going. I'll be in your room when you get home."

I stood on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him on the lips. "I love you."

He rested his forehead against mine. "I love you too, Bells."

And then I pulled away and let Alice drag me off to the mall.

"Stick to the speed limit!" Jasper screamed to her as she peeled out of the parking lot.

Alice just laughed.

* * *

**(Jasper's POV)**

I was still worried about Bella, but I knew Alice would take care of her.

I watched the yellow Porsche peel out of the parking lot until it was well out of sight before getting into the front seat of Edward's Volvo.

Rosalie was looking pretty impatient in the backseat and I just rolled my eyes as Edward sped towards home.

"I still don't see what you see in that stupid girl," Rosalie muttered angrily.

"She's not stupid," I said through clenched teeth.

"Yes she is. You could do way better than her."

I turned in my seat so I could see Rosalie. "Just shut the fuck up. You're just jealous."

"Of her?" She laughed obnoxiously.

"You wnana know something Rose? I shouldn't even be telling you this, but I love Bella, and she needs me. I need to show her that not all guys are total dickwads like that motherfucker of a step-dad who _raped_ her!"

That quickly shut her up and the guilt poured out of her in truckloads.

I wasn't counting on her and Bella ever becoming BFFs, but I had a feeling that Rosalie would make it a point to be nicer to my girlfriend from now on.

* * *

**(Bella's POV)**

Alice slowed down once we were on the highway, thank God. I felt like my heart would explode from how fast it was beating.

Once I had calmed down, we just cruised along on the virtually deserted stretch of highway in comfortable silence. The radio played some cheesy pop song.

After another few minutes, Alice reached over and shut off the radio before glancing over at me. "Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Uh, sure. What?" I asked.

"I uh, well, I had a vision of you telling Jazz about... well, what happened to you. So, I was wondering..." She trailed off. Poor girl, she was so afraid of setting me off.

"It's okay Alice. I think I already know what you're gonna ask. But what is it?"

"Well... how come you're so comfortable around him?" She glanced at me and quickly turned back to the road. "Not that I'm not happy for you," she quickly added.

"That's a good question." Normally, anyone else in my situation would be scared shitless of people in general, not to mention guys. But here I was, with a sweet, loving boyfriend and I was A-OK with it.

"I guess Jazz is just different. I still get nervous around people, guys especially, but I don't around Jasper. He just has this... calming presence that always makes me feel safe. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah, it does. He's protective of me too, just in a big brother kinda way..."

"Yeah, I can tell." I'd already observed the dynamics of Alice and Jasper's relationship and it was clear to me that Alice was like a sister to him, though they weren't related by blood.

Due to the slower speed, we made it to the mall in Seattle in about an hour, instead of the fifteen minutes it probably would have taken with the higher speeds Alice usually drove at.

She parked the car in the parking lot and I managed to step out without tripping for once.

Alice grabbed my hand. "You ready?" She was grinning from ear to ear, and I knew I was in trouble.

I laughed. "I don't know. That smile of yours is kinda unsettling."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I won't torture you... too much."

"Oh great," I muttered sarcastically.

She just laughed that soprano, bell-like laugh of hers and pulled me towards one of the bigger department stores. "It'll be fun, I promise!"

It _did_ end up being pretty fun. Alice dragged me from store to store, making me try on dozens of outfits in each- thankfully, most of them were my style...

"Oh my God! That looks sooo cute! We have to get it!" Alice squealed over the outfit I'd just come out of the dressing room wearing. She'd already bought me four bagfuls of stuff, and I felt bad, but she convinced me that it was no big deal.

I forced myself not to look at the price tag when she had thrust the skirt and shirt combo at me and now I looked down at myself and then looked back at her. "You really think so?"

It was a dress, and until this point I honestly would never be caught dead in a dress. But this one was actually pretty cute. It was red and black leopard print with a black corset belt cinching it in at the waist with spaghetti straps. It was pretty short, so I'd paired it with a pair of black leggings. The look was completed with a pair of red flats (I'd insisted on no heels, and Alice agreed).

Alice stood up and examined the outfit. "I love it. But there is definitely something missing."

She left and was back in a few seconds with something on a hanger. "Here. Try this on."

It was a cardigan sweater. A simple, black cardigan. And it went with the dress perfectly.

"I love it!" I was actually really excited. "It looks so..."

"Rockabilly?" Alice offered.

"Yeah. Kinda."

"So we're getting it?" She asked hopefully.

I sighed. "Yes. We'll get it. Just don't tell me how much it costs."

She laughed. "Deal."

We shopped for a few more hours, and ended up with ten bags _each_. They barely fit in her car!

I was wearing the leopard print dress.

Alice dropped me off at my house around nine o'clock, and by then I was just about ready to pass out.

"Think you can carry it all in yourself?" She asked.

"Um... why don't I take half and you can bring the rest over tomorrow."

She smiled. "Sounds great." She leaned over the seat and kissed me on the cheek (I would have to get used to that). "See you tomorrow, Bella!" She said cheerfully.

I hugged her. "Bye Alice!"

I grabbed five of my bags and kicked the car door closed with my foot.

Alice raced off and I headed up the front steps to the door.

I unlocked it with some difficulty due to the amount of bags I was holding and went inside.

The TV was blasting, and I knew Charlie had fallen asleep in front of it again.

I set my bags down and made my way to the living room to see what I knew I would find- Charlie, fast asleep with a pair of chopsticks dangling from one hand and leftover Chinese food takeout boxes strewn over the coffee table. One was balanced precariously on his chest and I reached over and grabbed it before it could spill.

"Dad. Wake up." I shook him gently and he opened his eyes.

"Bells? That you?" He asked sleepily.

"Yeah. You fell asleep in front of the couch. Go up to your room."

He got up unsteadily and made his way upstairs while I cleaned up his mess and turned the TV off. Then I grabbed the only unopened takeout box that I knew he'd gotten for me, grabbed a pair of chopsticks and went upstairs. I'd deal with the bags later.

I pushed my door open and was a little startled to see Jasper sitting on my bed. I'd forgotten that he said he'd be here when I got home.

"Hey Bells," he said with a shy smile and open arms.

I walked over to the bed and settled myself on his lap and rested my head on his shoulder as his arms circled around me and held me close. "Nice dress," he commented.

"Oh. Right." I looked down at the dress I forgot I was wearing and blushed. "Thanks."

"You look beautiful."

I reached up and kissed his jaw before resting my head back on his shoulder with a big, goofy grin on my face. "Thank you."

"So how was shopping?"

"Not as torturous as I thought it would be."

He laughed. "Well that's good."

My stomach chose this time to growl and Jasper laughed again. "I should probably let you eat, huh?" He didn't let go of me, but instead moved so he was leaning back against my headboard.

I repositioned myself in his lap and his arms went around my waist so my arms were free.

I opened up the takeout box and dug into the orange chicken and rice that Charlie had gotten me.

"So, shopping was fun?"

I nodded.

I finished up my food quickly and set the empty takeout box on my desk, suppressing a yawn in the process. "You should go to sleep. It's late," Jasper told me.

"That sounds like a good idea."

He let go of me so I could get up and go to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth.

I was back within five minutes, and he hadn't moved a muscle since then. But when I closed the door behind me, he turned to me and smiled before scooting over on the bed and pulling the covers back for me.

I hung the dress I'd been wearing up in my closet before making my way to the bed and crawling under the covers next to Jasper, who immediately wrapped his arms around me securely.

I was used to his icy cold skin by now, but I was still wearing a hoodie to bed so I wouldn't get too cold.

He reached over me to turn my lamp off before kissing my forehead and whispering, "Sweet dreams, Bells. I love you."

I mumbled, "I loves you too, Jazzy." And then I was fast asleep.

* * *

**A/N**: Here's the new chapter! =] Not much else to say except... Merry Christmas bitches! Even though Christmas is not until Thursday. BUT, it _is_ Hanukkah today so Happy Hanukkah everyone! ^_^ Hugs for anyone who can guess which movie the "Merry Christmas Bitches" line comes from!!!! And as usual, thank you to BlessedBeACullen for giving me the opportunity to write this fic. =]

Oh, and Bella's dress will be on my profile!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing!!!!!!!!!!


	10. I Would Walk 500 Miles

**(Bella's POV)**

I managed to survive school all the way through Friday when Jasper dropped a bombshell on me while we were driving home.

"Wh-what!?" I managed to stutter out in shock.

"I want you to come over to my house," he repeated calmly. He turned to look at me. "I want you to meet my parents."

I'd heard numerous things about Dr. Cullen from the kids at school. Apparently he was drop dead gorgeous and a medical miracle worker. I hadn't heard much about Mrs. Cullen except that she "couldn't have kids." Or so the people of Forks have been led to believe.

Jasper must have sensed my nerves because he reached over and grabbed my hand in his icy cold grip. "Don't worry, Bells. They'll _love_ you!" He pulled up into Charlie's spot in the driveway and was at my door in a flash. "We're going over at around six."

"What am I going to wear?" I wondered. I looked down at my ratty old Dropkick Murphys shirt and jeans that were so faded that you couldn't even tell that they used to be black at some point.

"What you're wearing is fine," Jasper said as he found the hidden spare key and unlocked the front door before holding it open for me like the Southern gentleman he is.

"No it is most certainly not!" A high soprano voice rang out.

I jumped about a foot in the air and spun around to see the body that accompanied the voice. "H-Hey Alice," I sputtered still in a state of shock.

"Hey Bella. Sorry for scaring you, but we got a lot of work to do."

She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me upstairs while Jasper shot me an apologetic look and mouthed, "Sorry."

We made it to my room and Alice sat me down on the bed. "Okay, so you've got a million new clothes, but you need something that's really classy." She went through my closet to try to find something suitable.

I tried on about fifty outfits before she was finally satisfied with a pair of new dark wash jeans, blue ballet flats, and a black tank top, topped off with a royal blue cardigan. "You look so, _cute_!" Alice gushed. "Blue is such a great color on you! Now all I have to do is do your makeup and you'll be all set."

I glanced at my alarm clock; it was about 5:45. I found myself getting nervous all over again.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella, calm down! Carlisle and Esme will love you!"

She instructed me to close my eyes and three seconds later, I opened them to find myself staring at my reflection in a small hand mirror. Alice looked at me expectedly.

"I… I like it," I admitted. My eyes were rimmed in navy blue eyeliner and black mascara- nothing too heavy- that really made my brown eyes pop. She'd paired it off with a shade of red lip gloss that worked well with my pale complexion.

"Yay!" She squealed. "Okay, c'mon, let's go!" She pulled me up off the bed and led me downstairs and out to Jasper's car, where he was waiting for us.

"You look beautiful, Bells," he commented, making me blush.

"Thank you," I replied before sliding in the car. He and Alice were quick to follow and soon we were speeding off towards the Cullen house.

Their place was way on the edge of town, deep in the forest. I made a mental note where to turn when you reached the break in the trees just in case.

We arrived at the house in less than fifteen minutes and my eyes dropped as I saw the sight in front of me.

"House?" I managed to squeak out. Mansion was more like it. It was _huge_! Bigger than four of Charlie's house combined! The mansion itself was very classy and elegant. It looked like a huge dollhouse.

Jasper laughed at my reaction. "Yeah, I guess I failed to mention that." Alice had already gone inside, probably to warn everybody, or something.

He helped me out of the car and then led me to the front door. There were several stone steps leading up to the front porch and I had to be careful not to slip and fall. Even the front door was elegant. It was made of a dark polished wood.

He pulled open the door and I was greeted by the sight of a very open, very light interior. The floor in the entrance hall was made of highly polished white marble and a grand staircase was straight ahead and split into two going in opposite directions.

"Wow," I breathed, taking it all in. I noticed a grand piano with the top propped open to my immediate left. It was set on a small platform. "Is that yours?" I asked.

"No, Edward's," he said.

Just then, the mouth-watering aroma of food cooking shocked my senses. It smelled like… well, I couldn't exactly place it. Pizza maybe?

Jasper took my hand and led me through the house towards what I'm guessing was the kitchen. My stomach grumbled and he smiled at me. "Good. You're hungry. My family's been wanting an excuse to use the kitchen."

I could hear voices now as we approached the fully equipped kitchen that I wished I had. I love cooking. "Isn't this a little much?" A male voice asked. Emmett maybe? Or was it Carlisle?

We finally got to the kitchen and immediately everyone turned to look at me, mostly with smiles (the only exception being Rosalie).

"You must be, Bella," a young woman with caramel colored hair gushed. She definitely looked older than the rest of the bunch, though not by much. I guessed that it was Esme.

She wiped her hands on a towel and smiled at me warmly as she approached to get a better look at me. "Jasper has told me so much about you." She put her hands on my arms lightly and studied my face. "You've made him so happy."

I blushed. "It's nice to meet you," I mumbled.

"I'm Esme," she said and pulled me into a careful hug. "I've been waiting to meet you." I decided I liked her. She was different than Renee, who until Phil came into our lives; I always felt that I had to take care of. Esme seemed more motherly.

A young blond man turned away from the stove to look at me. Dr. Cullen. "Hello, Bella." I noticed a hint of an accent in his voice. British? I couldn't tell for sure. It could have been Australian for all I knew. He walked over to me and stuck out his hand for me to shake.

I took it somewhat cautiously. "Nice to meet you, Dr. Cullen."

"Oh please, call me Carlisle." I could see why every girl had school had a massive crush on him. He was definitely gorgeous, model status even.

"Smells good," I commented. And it did. My stomach growled again.

He laughed. "Sounds like you're hungry."

Esme came up next to him. "We're making Italian for you, dear. I hope that's okay."

"That's perfect," I said with a smile.

I noticed Rosalie roll her eyes and stalk off. Emmett watched her leave before coming up to me. Despite his tough appearance, up close, he looked like a really nice person. He shot me a wide smile and I noticed the dimples in his cheeks. That along with his curly brown hair made him ten times less intimidating already.

"Hey Emmett," I said.

"Hi Bella!" And before I could say anything, he swept me up into a big bear hug, although he was careful not to hug me too tightly.

"Emmett, let her go," Alice demanded and he complied. "Don't mind him," she said. "He's just a big teddy bear."

I noticed Edward leaning against the counter and he smiled and waved. I stayed my distance but smiled and waved back. I had a feeling that Edward and I would become good friends.

"Food's almost ready," Esme announced. "Probably another fifteen minutes."

"Do you like mushrooms on your pizza, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, thank you. And tomatoes, too," I said.

"Got it."

Esme came up to us and said, "Jasper, why don't you take Bella upstairs and show her your room."

"I'd really like to hear you play guitar," I suggested.

A look of shock crossed Esme's face as she put her hands on her hips and demanded, "She hasn't heard you play yet!?"

Jasper shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry."

She just shook her head and smiled at me. "You're in for a treat, dear."

Jasper took me by the hand and led me out of the kitchen and up the staircase.

The rest of the house was a maze of hallways and more stairs. I had a feeling it would take days to explore the whole place.

"Damn, this place is _huge_!" I commented as Jasper led me all the way up to the fourth floor, to the attic I assumed.

"It's a little small," he admitted sheepishly before pulling the door open.

The first thing I noticed was the back wall, which was really just one giant window. I'd noticed the same thing downstairs so I guessed that the whole backside of the house was made of glass. The floor was covered in plush red carpet and a small black canvas covered couch was pushed against one of the walls. Opposite the couch was a wall half filled by bookshelves filled with CDs with one shelf dedicated to a complicated looking stereo system and an old vintage record player. On the wall space above the half sized bookshelves were rows upon rows of the sleeves of various vinyl records. They were tacked up there. The rest of the wall space was covered by various band posters, stickers, and sheets of paper with words scribbled on them, half-finished songs, I guessed.

"This room is freakin' amazing!" I breathed. I wished my room looked like it, but instead it was plain and white and boring.

"Really?" He asked shyly.

"Really!" I wandered over to the vinyl wall and checked them out. "Hot Water Music, Jimmy Eat World… Every single fuckin' Beatles album ever!!!" I turned to him. "This is amazing! These are all yours?"

"There's more in my closet. I tend to rotate them out. My vinyl collection is over 10,000 now."

"Damn!" Then I remembered why we'd even come up here and asked, "So, where's that guitar of yours?"

He smiled. "Lemme get it. You can just sit on the couch."

I took a seat on the couch while he opened up a door next to it. The door itself was completely covered so it was almost impossible to tell it was even there.

Jasper emerged two seconds later with a shiny, expensive looking hardshell case, and he set it down gently before sitting down cross-legged in front of me on the floor and opening it up.

The guitar inside was a beautiful rosewood acoustic Takamine guitar.

Jasper ran his finger over the strings and the body of it gently. Then he looked up and smiled. "This right here is my pride and joy. I named her Bella."

My heart melted. He'd named his guitar after me? That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.

He picked up the guitar strummed a few random chords and made a few tuning adjustments.

"So, whatcha gonna play for me?" I asked curiously.

He smiled. "It's a surprise. I wanna see if you can get it."

He closed his eyes and started strumming and singing at the same time. If I thought his speaking voice was godly, his singing voice was that of an angel's. It was beautiful.

_When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you  
And when I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you  
And if I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you  
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you  
_

I recognized the song immediately, though he'd chosen to play the more punky, edgier sounding MxPx cover rather than the original version by The Proclaimers.

He moved onto the chorus, eyes still closed, and all I could think about was how amazing and wonderful and absolutely perfect he was.

_I would walk 500 miles  
And I would walk 500 more  
To be the man who walked a 1000 miles  
To fall down at your door_

The more he sang, the more I realized that he wasn't just singing any random song. He meant every word of it.

_When I'm working yeah you know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you  
And when the money comes in for the work I do  
I'll pass almost every penny on to you  
And when I come home oh I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you  
And when I grow old well I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you  
_

He went to the chorus again and then to the breakdown. Despite having his eyes closed the whole time, his fingers moved from chord to chord with ease and he never missed a beat.

_  
da da da  
da da da  
da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da  
da da da  
da da da  
da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da_

_When I'm dreaming well I know I'm gonna dream  
I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you_

_When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you_

That verse reminded me of what he'd told me about Alice's vision, and how he'd waited his whole life for me to come along. The thought brought tears of joy to my eyes. I'd really found my soulmate.

_When I go out well I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you  
And when I come home yes I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you  
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you_

He ended the song and opened his eyes to see me in tears, and of course he panicked.

He set his guitar down and had his arms around me in a flash. "Bells, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said through my happy tears. "That was just the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. 'Cause I know you meant every word." I looked up at him and laughed. "Can't you tell I'm happy?"

He laughed, somewhat nervously, and said, "Very true. Um, well, I'm glad you liked it. I'm no Mike Herrera, but that was probably the best I've ever played."

"You're a million times better than Mike Herrera!" I said, which is saying something. Because besides Flogging Molly and The Dropkick Murphys, MxPx is my absolute favorite band, and their bassist and lead singer, Mike Herrera, is my idol.

He smiled and wrapped me in his arms. "I love you, Bella."

I picked my head up off his shoulder and kissed him. "I love you more."

He looked into my eyes and I'm pretty sure he was about to kiss me again but Esme's voice saying, "Food's ready!" kind of spoiled the moment.

He laughed and picked me up. "I'd close my eyes if I were you."

I complied and squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly.

A second later, he was setting me down in the kitchen where a small personal pizza was set on a plate on the counter with a glass of ice water and a bowl of salad next to it.

Esme smiled at me. "I hope that's enough. Go ahead, sit down, dear."

I made my way over to the counter and of course, being me, tripped over nothing. And of course, Jasper caught me. "Maybe I should just carry you over," he commented, already picking me up and setting me in the chair by the counter.

"Thanks," I said with a laugh. My stomach growled again, reminding me of how hungry I was. The pizza was already pre-cut into four perfect slices and I immediately dug in. "Oh my God!" I exclaimed. "This is _really_ good!" The cheese was perfectly melted and there was just the right ratio of mushrooms to tomatoes to make it extra yummy. "Thank you!"

Esme smiled and said modestly, "It's been years since I've even touched a plate, but you're welcome. I did my best."

"Which is amazing!" I reminded her.

She laughed. "Thank you."

I was on my third slice of pizza when I heard a scream and then Alice ran into the room. "Bella! We have to hurry!" She sounded distressed, and I knew that something was wrong.

Jasper knew it too. "Alice, what's going on?"

"I just had a vision. Charlie's gonna try to kill himself."

* * *

**A/N**: Big cliffie! Sorry for the long break between updates but I've been super busy with school and everything so I haven't had much time to write. But I've been listening to MxPx's new cover album "On The Cover II" nonstop, and specifically "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)". The song's originally by a really awesome Scottish band (they're 2 identical twins) called The Proclaimers and I guarantee that at least fifty percent of you have heard the song whether you knew who it was by or not. It's a really amazing song and MxPx did an amazing cover of it. And I think Jasper would be more likely to play the cover rather than the original… it just seems more like him. Anyway, check out both versions if possible! Oh by the way, Mike Herrera is (as mentioned) MxPx's kickass bassist and lead singer and he is ah-freakin'-mazing! I love him!!!! ^_^

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Not even the song… and Jasper's guitar was modeled after my Godson (yes, he's a guitar!!!), Kevin. He's my friend Bernie's guitar. =]


	11. Swan Song

**(Bella's POV)**

My brain went into shock and the whole world seemed to stop as what she'd said sunk in. Charlie wanted to kill himself. Nothing was making sense.

Jasper and Alice were talking rapidly, too quickly for my human ears. All I heard was a low hum.

"G-give me the phone," I managed to mumble out through my shock. I had to stop him.

"No! Bella, you can't! He can't know that I know! We have to drive!"

Jasper picked me up and before I knew it, I was strapped in the back seat of his Porsche and we were speeding towards Charlie's house.

"Why?" I asked. "Why's he trying to kill himself?"

"I don't know, Bella," Alice said in distress. "All I saw was the suicide note and the aftermath. Nothing else. Jasper, step on it!"

I didn't even focus on the high speed, because now that the truth had sunk in, I was willing Jasper to drive as fast as his car could stand. We had to get to Charlie before he did something!

I started hyperventilating in the backseat and suddenly the car didn't seem to have enough air in it. "Oh my God! We're not gonna make it. We're not gonna fuckin' make it!!" I was hysterical.

Alice twisted out of her seatbelt and jumped into the back with me. She grabbed my hands and said, "Bella, Jasper can't calm you down right now. But I need you to take deep breaths and just relax. We'll get there, don't worry. We're almost there."

Within two more minutes we were pulling up the street and parking haphazardly in the driveway.

I was wrenching the door open before the car had come to a complete stop and Alice had to jump and catch me before I fell and cracked my skull.

I broke out of her grasp and ran to the front door, which was slightly ajar.

"Charlie!" I screamed. "Dad! Where are you!?" I ran throughout the house, but there was no sign of him.

I ran upstairs next and noticed a slip of paper on his door at the end of the hall. Oh shit. I hoped I wasn't too late.

I ran to his room and pushed the door open so hard it was practically ripped off its hinges.

The sight before me sent a cold shiver up my spine and caused my mind to go numb.

It was Charlie, lying in a pool of his own crimson blood, with his revolver lying to the side and a self-administered bullet wound to his head. He'd shot himself.

Jasper and Alice stopped outside of the door and I heard a gasp.

All I could do was collapse to my knees and crawl over to my father. "Daddy?" My brain was still in shock.

My vision swam and before long, I was bawling like a baby and Jasper was picking me up and carrying me out of the room. "Daddy!" I wailed. "Why!?"

"Shhh. Bella, it's okay." Jasper carried me back out to his car and sat me on his lap in the backseat while I cried.

"Why?" I murmured over and over again through my tears. "Why!?" I hiccupped a little bit and just sobbed harder. "Jasper, why did he do this to me? It's not fair" _hic_ "for both of my parents" _hic_ "to be fuckin'" _hic_ "dead!"

He didn't have an answer to that. He just stroked my hair and let me cry it out while Alice drove slowly back to the Cullen house.

"Uh, Bella," she said once I had calmed down to the point where I could at least breathe because I wasn't crying as hard. "I think you might wanna read this." She handed me the sheet of paper I'd found on the door.

I could just barely read it through the haze of tears still blurring my vision.

_Dear Bells,_

_I'm sorry I have to leave you like this, but I just couldn't deal with it anymore._

_I miss your mother too much. I couldn't live without her._

_It was my time. Go ahead with the memorial, you're mother would appreciate it._

_Love,_

_Dad. _

_P.S. Jasper, if you _ever _hurt her, I will come back and haunt you for the rest of your life! You'd better take care of my little girl. She trusts you, so… I guess I do too. _

The memorial. I'd totally forgotten about that. But how could I possibly go through with it now?

I clutched my note in my hand and buried my face in Jasper's chest as a new onslaught of tears came.

As we drove, I heard Alice call the police and explain what had happened. I could only imagine the pain the other police officers were going through. Charlie had worked at the station as the chief for as long as I could remember.

Next Alice called Carlisle, and explained everything to him. By the time we made it back to the Cullen house, the whole family was waiting outside as soon as I was out of the car and leaning against Jasper for support, Esme came up and wrapped her arms around the both of us. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I know what it feels like, I lost my baby boy."

I let go of Jasper and threw my arms around Esme and sobbed into her fancy silk blouse.

She cried (or dry sobbed, I guess) along with me and somehow that made it all seem just a little bit better, to know that someone was just as devastated as me, well, it just made it seem like maybe I wasn't completely alone.

Carlisle muttered something about going to check out the house and before long was speeding off.

I felt another pair of arms and assumed it was Alice or Jasper, but instead, it was Edward. "I'm sorry, Bella."

Pretty soon, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper all joined the big ol' group hug. Looking over Esme's shoulder, I noticed Rosalie looking guilty and a little unsure of herself, but before long, she ran towards us and joined in on the hug. "I'm sorry too, Bella."

This just caused me to cry harder. I didn't deserve to have a family as kind as them… and it was true, they were my family now.

Eventually they broke up the group hug, with Esme still hugging me, but soon she picked me up and carried me into the house.

She spoke to me soothingly and kissed the top of my head every now and then while she carried me upstairs to Jasper's room.

I felt myself being placed gently on something soft and immediately curled up, already having cried myself to sleep.

* * *

**(Jasper's POV)**

We'd moved Alice and Edward's bed into my room so Bella could sleep. She was exhausted and as soon as Esme set her down, she curled up and fell asleep.

Alice came in to change her into her pajamas and then I crawled under the covers with her to keep her company.

Even in dreamland, her emotions radiated sadness and sorrow. The only thing she mumbled was, "Daddy? Why did you leave me?"

She was asleep for whole day and a half. During that time, Esme called everyone for the memorial service that Sunday. The whole entire town was invited.

The only problem was the mutts. Billy Black had been best friends with Charlie Swan; that had been no secret. So, of course we had to invite him. And that meant the rest of the tribe too, all of the dogs, as well as Billy's son, Jacob, who wasn't a mutt yet, but would soon become one.

Esme was in a tizzy about what to do about it but the situation soon smoothed itself out when Angela Weber's father had the courtesy to invite them for us.

I hoped they wouldn't kill us for being there…

Bella stirred sometime around three in the afternoon the next day. "What time is it?" She mumbled.

"Three, Bells. You've been asleep for a long time."

She opened her chocolate brown eyes and I noticed they were tear-filled and the pillow she'd slept on was wet. "Why'd he leave me?" She asked quietly.

I pulled her into my arms and stroked her hair. "I dunno, Bells. All I know is that he was really depressed. He just couldn't handle it anymore."

"Yeah, but didn't he even care about me at all? Why would he just leave me alone like this?" The tears started to fall.

"Well… I guess he knew that we'd take care of you. You're not alone, Bella."

The tears fell harder now and soon her body was wracked with sobs.

I sat up and pulled her into my lap. _"There's nothing you can do that can't be done,"_ I sang. I don't know where it came from. _"Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how the play the game. It's easy." _

Bella picked up her head to look at me through tear-filled eyes. I continued singing softly, _"There's nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy. All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need." _

Alice and Rose appeared next to my shoulder and sang softly, _"Love, love, love…"_

They continued that while I sang_, "There's nothing you can know that can't be known. Nothing you can see that isn't shown. No where you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. It's easy." _

Bella let out a tiny laugh as Alice, Rose, and I all sang the rest of the song together.

"That was really nice… c-could you sing it at the funeral?" She asked in a small voice.

"Of course, Bella," I told her. I was afraid to call her Bells now because that's what Charlie called her…

Alice reached out to touch her shoulder. "Rose and I are in."

Esme appeared in the doorway and asked, "Bella dear, are you hungry?"

Bella just nodded.

"What would you like?"

"A grilled cheese sandwich."

"You got it, sweetheart."

Once Esme left, Bella asked, "Jazzy, can you play something by Flogging Molly too?"

"Sure." I knew the perfect song too.

Rose said, "I can play violin with him." She knew which song I was thinking of too.

"Thank you, all of you. I love you guys." Bella's voice cracked on the last syllable.

Emmett and Edward appeared out of nowhere and Edward asked under his breath so she wouldn't hear, "How's she doing?"

"Better. Not great though."

Bella piped up with, "Edward?"

He looked a little shocked that she was talking to him, but he wasn't fighting the urge to kill her. "W-what, Bella?"

"Could you play something at the funeral too? I hear you're really good at piano."

"Sure, Bella. What song though?"

"You and Jasper should play 'Hey Jude'," she decided after a minute.

"Bella, Esme arranged the funeral for tomorrow, I hope that's okay," Emmett said tentatively.

"That's fine."

"You're sandwich is ready, Bella," Esme announced, walking into the room with a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of milk atop a TV tray.

I lifted Bella off of my lap so Esme could place the tray in front of her. "Come on, kids. Out. Let Bella eat." She shooed everyone but me out of the room.

Bella picked one half of the sandwich off of the plate and took a tiny bite. I could tell she didn't really want to eat, but she forced herself to anyway.

"C-can, you guys learn those songs by tomorrow?" She asked.

"Edward and I already know every Beatle song by heart and can play 'em perfectly. Rose is great on violin, and she knows exactly which song I'm planning."

Bella nodded and took another bite of her sandwich and then took a swig of her milk.

After she ate to just slept for the rest of the day. All I could do was hold her and wish I could take her pain away. I kissed her cheek and whispered, "I love you, Bells."

* * *

**(Bella's POV)**

I awoke fairly early the next morning. The sky was dreary and cold as it always was in Forks, and suddenly I was missing the warmth of Phoenix.

"Good, you're awake," Jasper said. He was holding me in his arms gently.

"When's the funeral?"

"It's at the church in an hour. Alice has an outfit picked out for you. I'll let you get dressed." He stood up and left the room.

After he was gone, I looked around and noticed a simple black outfit sitting on the foot of the bed.

I sat up slowly; I was not looking forward to this funeral. But then again, who the hell would?

The outfit Alice picked out for me was way simpler than anything she'd ever given me to wear. It was just a simple black, knee-length, cotton dress, a pair of black tights and a pair of comfortable-looking flats.

I sighed and finally got out of bed. It was gonna be a long day.

I didn't put the outfit on right away; instead I just stared at it for like ten minutes.

"Bella?" A small voice asked. I recognized it as Alice.

"Yeah, Alice?" I managed to croak out. My voice was raw and cracked from crying.

She opened the door and poked her head in. "Want some help?"

I just shook my head. "But, could you just… stay with me for awhile?" I was fighting back tears now.

"Oh, of course I will, Bella." She walked over and wrapped me in her tiny arms. She only came up to my shoulder.

I managed to fight my tears back and eventually got around to putting on my clothes. Alice's outfit was similar to mine.

After I was dressed, Alice sat me down in a chair and helped me fix my hair. "You gonna be okay?" She asked as she combed it out gently.

I shrugged.

There was another knock on the door. "Come in, Rose." Alice murmured.

Once again, the door clicked open, except this time, it was Rosalie's blond head. Even when she was depressed, she managed to look elegant. Her dress was much fancier than Alice's and mine, and her hair was pulled back in a half ponytail, with the ponytail braided.

"You look beautiful, Rosalie," I managed to say with a small smile.

"You look beautiful, too, Bella," she replied. It was the first compliment she'd ever given me, and somehow, I could tell she was serious.

She crossed the room in her simple black heels and leaned down to give me a hug. It was amazing how much tragedy changed our relationship. "Everyone else is downstairs. We're taking separate cars. Alice, we're taking the Mercedes and the Jasper's Porsche."

"Okay," Alice said, finishing up my hair. She'd put half of my hair up in a ponytail. "Let's get going."

She ran out of the room and came back with jackets for the two of us before grabbing my hand and leading me downstairs. Rosalie caught up and took my other hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

They let go once we got to the bottom of the stairs. All the men were dressed in simple black suits with various colored ties.

Jasper walked over and murmured, "You okay?"

I did a kind of nod-shrug and said, "I guess."

"Okay, let's get going." He wrapped his arm around my waist and led me out to the driveway where the Mercedes and the black Porsche were parked.

Jasper, being the perfect gentleman he is, held my door open for me and started the car to get the heat going.

Before long, Alice joined me in the backseat and I expected Edward to follow her, but instead, it was Rosalie. "I'm riding with you guys. I hope you don't mind."

"Seatbelts?" Jasper asked. Not like anyone but me needed one.

Before I knew it, we were speeding off to Forks's one lonely old church for the funeral of Charlie and Renee Swan.

* * *

**A/N**: Hey guys, I'm _really_ sorry for killing off Charlie, but this was always my plan for this fic, despite how sad it was. So, send me a nice review. The song was the _Across The Universe_ version of "All You Need Is Love" because it's much more somber and seemed to fit better than the original. You'll find out the Flogging Molly song in the next chapter. **Dedications for anyone who can guess which Flogging Molly song it'll be**!!! Just take a guess! =]

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, and the closest I can get to owning Jasper is knowing my friend by the same name. XD Song belongs to The Beatles!


	12. If I Ever Leave This World Alive

**(Bella's POV)**

The howl of the wind cut off the minute we walked into the church and a somber silence fell over us.

It was a sea of black as far as I could see; everyone in Forks seemed to have showed up. Many of the adults were crying, so were some of the teenagers.

A girl I recognized as Angela from school walked up and gave me a hug. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I was too sad to be shocked and just hugged her back. "Thanks."

Jasper had disappeared to grab his guitar but breezed through the door once Angela let go of me. Rosalie wasn't far behind with a much smaller version of Jasper's guitar case in one hand.

Everyone took a seat and once silence had fallen over the crowd, Angela's father, who happened to be a minister, made his way up in front of the closed mahogany casket and spoke. "We are gathered here today to mourn the tragic losses of Charlie and Renee Swan…"

I drowned him out as he went on about what drives people to commit suicide, I just couldn't listen to it.

I snapped out of it once I heard, "Isabella? Would you like to say a few words?"

Jasper gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before I stood up shakily and made my way up to the casket.

"H-Hey everyone," I said nervously. I cleared my throat and repeated it a little louder.

"I- Well, to be honest, I didn't know Charlie very well. He never talked, I never talked… That was just how it was with us. I mean, I only ever called him dad to his face."

I took another shaky breath. "But the one thing I _do _know is that he loved Renee more than anyone else in the world. She was his life.

"Now, Renee, on the other hand, was more than just my mother. She was my best friend. I remember going to concerts with her all the time and all the guys would whistle and say, 'Who's that hot chick?' and I could laugh and say, 'My mom'." I let out a choked laugh. "The one thing my mom loved was music. She loved all her old stuff like The Beatles and The Rolling Stones but she was also listening to my music all the time and to be honest, _she_ was the one dragging _me_ to all the shows. Charlie, on the other hand, was more closed minded. He loved one band, which was The Beatles." I paused to swallow back my tears before I said, "So now, a few of The Cullens are going to play a few songs for Charlie and Renee."

I was openly crying now as Jasper and Edward made their way up to the stage. Jasper pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "That was amazing, Bells," he said.

Alice walked up to the stage to lead me back to my seat while Jasper and Edward set up.

Someone had gotten Jasper a stool to sit on in front of the mic and Edward took his seat next to the church's grand piano.

Jasper sat down, tuned up and then turned to Edward to give him a little nod.

Jazzy started singing a split second before Edward came in with piano.

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better_

Jasper came in with guitar next.

_Hey Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better_

_And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder_

They went back to the first verse. I don't think there was a dry eye by now. I knew I was crying at least.

_So let it out and let it in_

_Hey Jude, begin  
You're waiting for someone to perform with  
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do  
The movement you need is on your shoulder_

They finished the rest of the song and then went to the long outro.

_  
Na na na nananana, nananana, hey Jude..._

They did this several times before someone in the back started singing with them.

_Na na na nananana, nananana, hey Jude..._

One by one, voices from all around the church joined in and I soon found myself among them.

Instead of fading, Jasper and Edward slowed down and gave everyone a signal to cut out once they hit the last note.

They were met with a deafening reaction from the crowd. Once everyone had calmed down, Jasper said into the mic, "Okay, well, we got one more Beatles song for you. Alice, Rose, would you like to join me?"

They joined him up on stage to play "All You Need Is Love". They started out A Capella, but soon Jasper joined in with guitar.

The crowd responded the same as they had with the last time and this time I had no doubt in my mind that everyone was crying.

Finally, I joined Jasper back up on stage and said into the mic, "Those," I choked up a little and had to start over. "Those first two songs were for both Charlie and Renee. But this last one is for Renee. It's by a band called Flogging Molly, and she took me to their concert at my demand. But, after that, she wouldn't stop telling me how amazing they were." I couldn't go on because of the new onslaught of tears but I managed a small smile anyway before going back to my seat.

Edward and Alice left the stage while Rosalie got her violin out and tuned it up very quickly. Another stool had been brought out for her to sit down and once she was seated, Jasper told the crowd, "This, as Bella said, is a song by Flogging Molly, and it's called, 'If I Ever Leave This World Alive'."

He started out on a steady D chord and then Rosalie came in with violin.

_If I ever leave this world alive  
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life  
If I ever leave this world alive  
I'll come back down and sit beside your feet tonight_

As Jasper sang, all I could think about was Charlie singing this for Renee. I could just picture it.

_Wherever I am you'll always be  
More than just a memory  
If I ever leave this world alive_

_If I ever leave this world alive  
I'll take on all the sadness  
That I left behind_

_If I ever leave this world alive  
The madness that you feel will soon subside  
So in a word don't shed a tear  
I'll be here when it all gets weird  
If I ever leave this world alive_

_So when in doubt just call my name  
Just before you go insane  
If I ever leave this world  
Hey I may never leave this world_  
_But if I ever leave this world alive  
_

I found myself singing along with him on the last verse after the breakdown.

_She says I'm okay; I'm alright,  
Though you have gone from my life  
You said that it would,  
Now everything should be all right_

They ended on a solid simple chord and stood up to take a bow while everyone clapped respectfully. It really wasn't anyone else's kind of music but I was glad they'd played it.

Once they went back to their seats, Mr. Weber stepped up to the mic to finish up the funeral. Once again, I tuned him out until it was time to carry the casket out. Renee was still buried in Phoenix but I made a mental note to have her moved to this cemetery.

Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward carried the casket with the help of two policemen Charlie had worked with.

The lush green grass was soft and saturated with excess rainwater that splashed into my shoes as I walked to the recently dug grave.

I didn't cry this time, there weren't any tears left to shed.

Alice grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

As the casket was lowered down, the clouds opened up and showered everyone in the cemetery. It was as if the sky were crying along with us.

While umbrellas went up around me, I just stood there, letting the rain soak me.

"Come on, Bella," Alice urged, trying to get me under the shelter of her large black umbrella.

I just shook my head. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the casket as it disappeared from my line of view and hit the sodden earth below with a gentle thud.

My eyes roamed to the polished, flat, square, marble grave marker. It simply read:

_**Charlie Swan**_

_**Beloved father and husband**_

_**1951-2008**_

I closed my eyes and shed one last tear. "I love you, daddy," I whispered.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and whirled around, expecting it to be Jasper or Alice. But instead, it was a really tall Native American looking kid with long black hair tied back in a ponytail.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was Billy Black's son, Jacob.

"Hi," I said sadly.

"Hi, Bella. You probably don't remember me. The last time I saw you my dad said I was six… I'm-"

"Jacob. I know. Charlie liked to talk about you," I said monotonously. It was true too. Back when Charlie talked, anyway. Before Renee died.

"Yeah, well, anyway, I just wanted to see how you're doing. You can come over anytime. You know where the La Push reservation is, right?"

I nodded.

He sighed and added, "This probably isn't the best time to tell you this, but my dad told me to tell you to watch out."

I turned to look at him like, _"Is your dad on crack?"_

He rolled his eyes. "He's really superstitious and believes in these old stories about the 'Cold Ones'. Anyways, just said to be careful of the Cullens."

I gasped but quickly tried to cover it up. "I'll, uh, I'll keep that in mind."

Jacob just nodded. "Okay then, well, hope I see you around sometime, Bells."

"Don't call me that," I immediately demanded.

"Why not? I've always called you that. Everyone does."

"Just don't." I had to get away. "It was nice meeting you, Jacob, but I gotta go."

And then I raced off to find Jasper. Well, as much as I could 'race off' with the slick grass and my klutziness anyway.

He found me and pulled me into his arms. I asked, "Why does Billy Black want me to be careful of you guys?"

He sighed. "You're probably gonna learn about it soon enough anyways. I'll tell you the whole story later, but all I can say is that there's a… treaty, I guess you can say, between us and the Quilliutes. We don't step on the reservation and they don't expose us. It's only because they were Charlie's friends that they even agreed to come here. And it's because we're helping you that they won't kill us. But there's… tension between us."

"But why?" I asked.

"Later," he promised. "I can't tell you here. All I can say that soon enough, Jacob'll be in on it too and he'll start believing those old legends about us- The Cold Ones."

My head was swimming with questions and Jasper said, "Why don't we get you home. You'll get sick standing out here in the rain."

I was already shivering, so I didn't argue when he picked me up and carried me to the car.

The car was already toasty warm when I placed me in and wrapped a blanket around me and I assumed that Alice had been the one to start the car.

Alice and Rosalie joined us soon after and before I knew it we were pulling out of the cemetery and going back to the Cullen's place.

"Hey Jazz?" I asked. I was trying to ask more questions.

"Shh, Bells. Later. I'll tell you later."

"Okay." The warmth of the car was making it hard for me to stay awake and within minutes I was out cold.

* * *

**A/N**: Okay, new chapter. =] What'd you guys think? Yeah, I finally added Jacob into one of my fics, mostly for good plot twists and stuff, so Bella and him are not gonna end up being best friends or anything. Um… the songs were as promised, "Hey Jude" by The almighty Beatles! And the Flogging Molly song was as mentioned, "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" and it's amazing! Everyone should go and listen to it. I don't care if you buy if off iTunes or download it illegally, GO LISTEN TO IT!!!!!! And a dedication is also in need here: **MoreThenLikelyCrazy **for being the only person to even _guess_ even though I lied and accidentally told her it was right even though it wasn't (and I'm sorry about that. I read it wrong, it was really late)! So, congrats **MoreThenLikelyCrazy **for taking a guess at the Flogging Molly song. =]

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing! BlessedBeACullen own's the idea, I'm just writing for her.


	13. The Rest of My Life

**(Bella's POV)**

When I woke up, I was lying down on a comfy bed and in dry pajamas. Everything that had happened before that was a bit of a haze.

I vaguely remembered the funeral and then Jasper carrying me up to his room, but nothing else.

My mind flashed to the funeral again and all of a sudden that emotional ache was back.

"Jasper?" I called out quietly.

He was by the bed in an instant. "What is it, Bells?"

"Nothing. I was just lonely… Could you hold me?"

His look of panicked softened to a smile and he said, "Of course."

He sat down on the bed and wrapped the blanket tight around me before he wrapped his arms around me tightly and held me in his lap.

"Why weren't you here when I woke up?" I asked. I never realized how much I counted on him to keep me sane until now.

"I was talking to Alice. I didn't even realize you were awake."

"Oh." I tucked my head into the crook of his neck and inhaled. He smelled faintly like cinnamon… and soap.

"How're you doing?" He asked.

I shrugged. I was still kind of in denial.

"So, what's up with you guys and the Quiliutes?" I asked.

"I knew you'd ask that."

"So, what's the story?"

"Um…" he sighed. "How do I say this? Well, the Quiliutes are… well, some of them are werewolves."

I just gaped at him. "Yeah, it's weird," he said quickly. "But that's it… it's a special gene that gets passed on, and I know that Jacob's one of them that has the gene."

"So… why the treaty?"

"They don't trust us. Think we're gonna kill the tribe. There's this rivalry between us, but I usually just try to stay out of it."

"Okay then…" For the time being, my curiosity was appeased.

We were silent for another minute before I said, "Thanks. For playing at the funeral. It was amazing."

"Anytime, Bells." He kissed my forehead and I jumped a little at the feel of his icy lips.

He laughed a little. "Sorry about that."

"Nah, it's okay," I said and managed to smile.

I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift off as Jasper just held me for a while.

My stomach was what broke the silence.

"I take it you're hungry?" He said with an amused smile.

I giggled. "Yeah, I am. Can I get a ham and cheese sandwich?"

"Sure. But that means I gotta go out for a few minutes to get some stuff. You gonna be okay?"

I nodded. "Where's everyone else?"

"They left on a hunting trip. They should be back by tonight. I should be back in a few minutes."

I picked my head up to look him in the eyes. His normally honey-colored eyes were almost pitch black now and the bruise-like bags under his eyes had gotten darker. "When's the last time _you_ hunted?"

He looked down. "A few weeks."

"Go hunt then. Don't torture yourself for me. You should go."

"I don't need to, Bells, I'm fine." But even as he said it, I could tell the temptation was killing him. It was in his nature to drink blood, and I knew having me around was not helping.

I pressed my lips to his briefly and said, "Go out and hunt. Just be back soon. I told you, I'll be fine!"

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly after a minute.

I nodded. "I'm sure. Now go."

He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss my knuckles. "Okay then. But promise me you won't hurt yourself by accident," he joked.

"I promise," I said with a giggle.

"Okay. I'll be back as soon as possible." He gave me one last chaste kiss before disappearing.

As soon as he was gone, the house seemed eerily quiet and lonely. Not surprising, I guess, I mean, everyone was gone.

I figured Jasper would be gone for about an hour so I decided to get dressed.

The only problem was that as soon as I got up, I realized I had no clothes, or at least I didn't know where Alice put them anyway. I decided to check the closet seeing as how it was the most probable answer.

I managed to find the secret closet covered in all its sticker and poster glory and slid it open.

The closet seemed bigger than Jasper's whole entire room! But, I noticed once I located and flipped on the lights, that most of it wasn't filled with clothes. Most of the space was actually occupied by row upon row of about twenty or so guitars. I think a few of them were also basses, couldn't exactly know for sure. All I knew is that some of the cases were rectangular as opposed to guitar shaped and were bigger than the others.

As I finally looked up at the hanger space, I noticed that half of the closet was designated for a bunch of women's clothes, which I realized were mine. The rest of the clothes were Jasper's numerous band shirts, ripped up jeans, and hoodies. Plus his dozen or so pairs of Converse that varied between high-tops and low-tops. I noticed that one pair was those Ramones ones I'd wanted for forever. The ones made out of gray t-shirt material and the Ramones seal replacing the typical star logo.

I tore my eyes away from the shoes and focused on my side of the closet. I had so many more choices than I had a week ago! This definitely wasn't a very fancy day so I settled on a purplish form fitting Sex Pistols shirt with a pair of newer dark wash skinny jeans. I topped off the outfit with one of Jasper's hoodies- his Dead Kennedys one.

I stepped out of the closet and closed the door, wondering what I should do now. There wasn't much else _to_ do- except maybe brush my teeth, which is what I did next.

I managed to find the nearest bathroom without much trouble and noticed that again, thanks to Alice, my things were laid out on the sink.

I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste and got busy brushing my teeth.

My eyes were red and puffy from crying and I looked paler than normal.

My mind once again flew to the funeral, which I now remembered in vivid detail- the coffin getting lowered, the grave marker, the sea of black.

My head swam with all my thoughts and the images of Charlie's dead body and his coffin and Renee's beaten and bloody body…

I collapsed on the floor, sobbing. "Why'd you leave me, daddy?" I whimpered. "Why??" I was suddenly wishing that Jasper were still here.

My sadness soon turned to anger. Charlie had no right to just go and leave me here! Didn't he care about me? Didn't he care at all???

I stood up shakily and leaned heavily on the counter. This anger would not go away- not unless I did something.

So, on an irrational impulse, I did the first thing I could and pulled my fist back and swung full force at the mirror, shattering glass everywhere.

What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion.

Alice slammed the door open and tackled me. "Bellllllllaaaaaaaaaaa! Noooooo!" Her voice sounded distorted and muffled.

And then there was Jasper. His normally angelic face was twisted into a look of pain and hunger and it wasn't until many seconds later that it registered in my brain that the ominous sound echoing throughout the room was the growl coming deep from within him.

He was struggling against Emmett and Rosalie's grip, fighting to get free. Fighting to get free to kill me, I realized. My knuckles were bloody and bruised yet there was no pain- only fear. Fear of what these three ravenous vampires could do to me.

Alice struggled to contain herself but I saw her eyes go darker and darker and she was just leaning in to bite my neck when Carlisle appeared.

"Out! Everyone, out!" The world had returned to normal, no more slow motion. Just the pain and agony of my bloody hand and now probably broken arm from when Alice tackled me.

"Emmett! Rose! Get Jasper outside, now!" Carlisle barked. He was the only one still calm. Alice had already scampered off once Carlisle had entered the scene.

Once the bathroom was clear, Carlisle picked me up gingerly, being careful not to touch my hurt arm, which I cradled to my chest as if to protect it somehow.

I was openly crying by the time he set me down gently on the desk in his study. And it wasn't necessarily about the pain either.

I couldn't get Jasper's reaction out of my mind. Would he have hesitated to kill me if he had the chance? I didn't know what to think anymore.

"Bella, this is going to hurt, but I'll try to be as gentle as possible," Carlisle said, already going into doctor mode.

He took my right arm in his hand and even though his cold touch dulled the pain, it wasn't by much and I found myself flinching away.

He held on and I tried not to think about the pain.

He had to realign the broken bone and then place it in a splint and then after that a cast. It didn't take as long as I anticipated.

"How's Jasper doing?" I asked as he worked.

He glanced up at me. "He'll be fine. This was his first slip-up in awhile."

"He's had them before?" I was a little worried now.

Carlisle sighed but continued to work. "Bella, I don't know how much I should tell you but… Jasper had a very… violent past before he chose this lifestyle. Unlike Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, and myself, him and Alice both joined our clan later, after many years. Both of them have drunken human blood although Jasper hasn't ever quite been able to get over the temptation."

"So, he might have killed me if Emmett didn't hold him back!?"

I was surprised when Carlisle shook his head. "No, I have no doubt in my mind that he would've been able to stop if he ever got too close. He loves you, Bella. You're his soul mate."

My heart melted even though my brain told me to be terrified. I knew I could trust Jasper, he's never hurt me before and he told me there was almost no temptation…

"So, why did he react the way he did? He said there was almost no temptation with me."

"When vampires smell blood, it doesn't matter who they were to begin with, once they get a whiff of that blood, they're like a shark on a feeding frenzy."

"Oh." I felt stupid for not realizing. Jasper could resist biting me but once my blood was outside my body it must be ten times harder to resist it. "How's he doing?" I asked.

"Go check on him, he's in his room," Carlisle said, finishing up my cast.

I hopped off the desk and made my way up to Jasper's room.

Music was playing at a low volume (though I'm sure it was loud for a vampire) and I knew he could hear my knock. "Jazzy? You okay?" My fears had been appeased with my talk with Carlisle and now only concern for Jasper remained.

I knocked softly on the door, knowing he could hear me. "Jazz? It's Bells. Can you open up the door?"

When he didn't answer, I tried the doorknob and found it unlocked.

I entered the room expecting to see my boyfriend sitting on his bed listening to the now familiar song.

_I fell asleep last Saturday  
Underneath polluted skies  
I walked alone on those Jersey nights, and I  
Saw the boardwalk start to fall  
The emptiness starts to drown  
The quiet corners off this town, and I...  
Late last night, I made my plans  
It was the only thing I felt I could do  
Said goodbye, to my best friend  
Sometimes there's no one left to tell you the truth_

The problem was that Jasper wasn't there, not anywhere. There was a flash of white in my peripheral vision and I turned to see a piece of white paper taped to the vintage record player.

_It's gonna kill me: The rest of my life  
Let me apologize while I'm still alive  
I know it's time to face all of my past mistakes  
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life_

Less Than Jake played in the background as I pried the note off of the player and read it.

_Dear Bells,_

_I'm sorry I left you like this, but I just need some time to be alone and think. I can't forgive myself for what I put you through. Don't look for me. _

_-Jazzy._

_P.S. I love you. _

I dropped the note and pressed my hand to my mouth to keep from crying out. The tears were already starting.

_This is my all time low  
Somehow it feels so familiar  
Somehow it seems so familiar  
I feel like letting go  
And every second that goes by  
I'm screaming out for a second try  
Said goodbye, to my best friend  
Sometimes there's no one left to tell you the truth_

Suddenly the song choice made sense. He was trying to tell me something, telling me to look into the lyrics of the song to find the answer.

I knew what it was. He couldn't forgive himself for what he'd almost done to me- it was killing him inside. And he thought preventing me any new pain would be to just… just leave??? Why???

_This is the mess I've made  
These are the words I can't erase  
This is my life support, shutting down, for the final time  
And it twists like a blade  
And kills me for the rest of my life_

Alice ran into the room while I lay there on the ground sobbing and clutching Jasper's note in my hand.

"Bella?" She asked timidly, touching my shoulder.

"Why'd he leave me too?" I mumbled. "Why does everyone leave me?"

"Oh you poor thing," Alice said and lifted me up gently and cradled me in her arms, despite her being half my size. "I'm sorry he did this, but he just needs some time to think."

"Do you know where he went?" I asked through my tears. A dull ache had settled into my heart and it wouldn't go away.

"No, I'm sorry. He keeps changing his mind. He doesn't want to be found. At least not for a little bit."

I just sobbed harder until there were no more tears to shed.

* * *

**(Jasper's POV)**

The guilt of leaving Bella wouldn't go away as I thought fleetingly of various locations- Boston, Philadelphia, New York, Alaska, Colorado, the possibilities were endless.

I had to do it so Alice couldn't find me.

I turned up the stereo in my car- Less Than Jake was blasting out of the speakers. The same song I'd left Bella listening to, hoping she'd figure out why I was doing this.

I tried not to think about the pain she must be in- I knew Alice and Edward would take care of her.

The problem was that I just needed some time to think, to sort everything out. Plus, I was afraid of what I might do if I were ever alone with Bella. I knew now just how delectable her blood was, I wasn't sure if her emotions could keep me in check anymore… I was scared.

I revved the engine and pushed my car to its limits. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella was the love of my life. She was the girl of my dreams, the girl I'd waited for twenty years to come along.

This is why I was doing what I was doing.

* * *

**A/N**: Well, lots of drama in this one, but this was an idea I had like all the way in chapter 2 and it made sense to put it in now. Anyhoo, so the song was "The Rest of My Life" by a freakin' amazing band by the name of Less Than Jake!!! It's really good! I mean, there aren't any of the usual trombones or trumpets (they're a ska punk band) but it's really amazing. Just listen to it!

**Disclaimer**: As I've said before, I own nothing. =[


	14. Sing Like You Think No One's Listening

**(Bella's POV)**

Alice held me until I had cried myself into a fitful slumber.

I tossed and turned for hours, trying to get comfortable in Alice's unfamiliar bed.

When I woke up a few hours later, I had kicked the covers off of the bed.

"Alice?" I called softly.

"Yes, Bella?" She asked appearing instantly.

"Could you…" How could I even _ask_ her to do this? "Could you maybe lie down with me? I'm too hot." I was so used to Jasper's cold body next to mine that it was next to impossible getting to sleep.

She laughed a little and said, "Of course, Bella."

She climbed onto the bed next to me and lay down next to me on top of the covers. "Better?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Go to sleep, hun." She whispered and kissed my forehead.

I cuddled up next to her and closed my eyes. I noticed that she smelled really good too, but her smell was different than Jasper's. More floral… Maybe it's a vampire thing.

Within minutes I was back to that fitful sleep.

* * *

**(Jasper's POV)**

I stopped the car at my destination and held my breath (not sure why, they probably already knew I was here) as I stepped out of the car.

The powdery snow crunched under my feet as I walked up to the house.

The door swung open before I even had a chance to knock. "Jasper?" A female voice asked.

"Hello, Carmen."

* * *

**(Alice's POV)**

It was heart-wrenching, seeing Bella in this state. I didn't have to be an empath to see that she was in immense pain. But I knew Jasper wouldn't have left unless he knew someone was there to take care of her, which was now mine and Edward's job.

She tossed and turned in her sleep and kept mumbling Jazz's name.

I couldn't do anything to help her. I didn't have the power to alter her mood and no one else has that calming aura that Jazz has.

Just then, Edward entered the room. "How's she doing?" He asked so only I could hear.

_"Not great,"_ I thought.

All of a sudden, I had a vision.

_It was the living room in the Denali Clan's mansion in Alaska. The familiar rustic vibe was there as everyone convened in the living room. Then Carmen moved so I could see who she had her arm around. It was Jasper, and he was in worse shape then Bella. _

Then it was gone in a flash, replaced by images of Tokyo and Paris and Hawaii. But there was no denying that he was now in Denali, Alaska.

Edward obviously saw the vision in my head but just shook his head when I begged we go find him. "It's too soon," he muttered. "He needs time to calm down. We'll go tomorrow night."

I sighed. _"Fine."_

He leaned down to kiss my forehead. "I know you're worried about her. But we have to think about him too."

"Okay."

Bella chose that moment to cry out, "Don't leave me!" I noticed she was crying in her sleep.

"Bella, wake up," I said, shaking her gently.

"Huh?" She woke up with a start. Her whole face was wet, so was her hair. How long had she been crying? Why hadn't I noticed?

She noticed too and wiped her tears away with a swipe of her hand. "H-how long was I out?"

"Not long," I said.

"Do you know where he is now?" She asked hopefully.

I glanced at Edward and he nodded slightly, a silent urge for me to tell the truth. I turned back to Bella. "Well, I'm not too sure, but I think he's in Alaska."

Bella's whole face lit up, probably at the prospect of seeing her one true love again. She really missed him, and it had only been roughly a day.

I hated to crush her again. "We can't see him just yet."

Her face fell and I could tell she was thinking he didn't want her.

I quickly explained, "It's not that he doesn't wanna see you, 'cause believe me, he does! But he just needs some time to figure things out. Edward says we can leave tomorrow night."

Once I said his name, she seemed to realize he was standing there in the corner of the room. "Oh, hello, Edward."

"Hi, Bella," he said politely. "I'm sorry that you can't see Jasper sooner, but knowing him, he just needs some time to get back to normal. But he recovers fast. He just needs to talk to our friends in the Denali Coven for a little while."

"Denali Coven?" Bella asked.

"They're another coven of vegetarian vampires," I explained.

"Oh. So, we can go find him tomorrow night?" She asked.

I nodded. "It's a little over five in the morning, so I guess _tonight_ is more accurate. Wanna go back to sleep?"

She shook her head.

"Well, do you wanna watch a movie instead?" I asked.

This time she nodded.

I helped her out of bed and led her by the hand downstairs to the living room, Edward trailing not too far behind with a blanket for Bella.

Her eyes widened once I showed her to the entire room we have designated for various DVDs. "Take your pick," I said with a flourish.

She walked slowly around the perimeter of the room, which is filled, wall to wall, with DVDs.

"How about this one," she decided, pulling one out.

I checked the title- "Mamma Mia!". Perfect. Not sad at all, just entertaining.

"Okay then." I took the case from her and led her to the living room where out big screen TV is. "Take a seat," I said, while I went to set up the movie.

She sat down tentatively on the clean off-white leather sofa, as if it would bite.

I laughed. "Not what you're used to, huh?"

"Not really."

Edward asked, "Want something to eat, Bella?"

"Um… sure. Can I have a big bowl of buttered popcorn?"

He smiled. "Of course. Be back in a few minutes. Start the movie without me."

He wandered off into the kitchen while I joined Bella on the couch and pressed play. "Want a blanket?" I offered, holding out the fleecy Nightmare Before Christmas one that Edward had brought with him.

She just nodded.

I wrapped the blanket around her securely and scooted closer to her as the movie started. "I should warn you, I love musicals, so I might be singing."

She laughed. "That's okay."

Edward came back with the popcorn just as "Honey, Honey" started and plopped down on Bella's other side.

I was already singing, not for my own enjoyment, but for Bella's. She needed a distraction.

By the time "Super Trooper" rolled around, Bella was already having trouble staying awake, which I took as a good sign.

"Go to sleep, Bella," I said gently.

"Can't," she slurred sleepily. She struggled to life her arm in the cast. "Arm hurts too much."

"Lemme get you some pain medication." I was gone and back in a second with two pills and a glass of water.

Bella was so sleepy that I had to hold her head up and help her take a sip of water to take the pills.

"Hey, Edward, why don't you play some piano for Bella? That might help her relax."

"Yeah," Bella chimed in. "Me likes that."

I couldn't help but laugh at her choice of words as I picked her up gently and carried her into the room with Edward's grand piano (really, it's just his own personal library).

He took a seat behind the instrument while I settled into a big armchair with Bella cradled in my lap. _"Not classical,"_ I thought. _"Something she'll enjoy."_

My husband stared at me blankly for a good minute. All Edward ever plays is classical music, so he was at a loss of what to play, even though he can play anything.

_"Staylight Run?" _I prompted. He'd figure something out.

Another minute of him thinking and then his face lit up as he started playing.

The notes and chords were slow and sad, and I knew exactly what he was playing.

I started singing along quietly while I stroked Bella's hair.

_When the sun came up,_

_We were sleeping in,_

_Sunk inside our blankets,_

_Sprawled across the bed,_

_And we were dreaming,_

Edward joined in with his tenor voice every now and again.

_There are moments when,_

_When I know it and_

_The world revolves around us,_

_And we're keeping it,_

_Keep it all going,_

_This delicate balance,_

_Vulnerable all knowing,_

_Sing like you think no one's listening,_

_You would kill for this,_

_Just a little bit,_

_Just a little bit,_

_You would_

I repeated the chorus and then Edward intensified the piano as we both sang:

_Sing me something soft,_

_Sad and delicate,_

_Or loud and out of key,_

_Sing me anything,_

_We're glad for what we've got,_

_Done with what we've lost_

_Our whole lives laid out right in front of us_

The music was as it's most powerful as we repeated the chorus and then finally, Edward returned to how he played at the beginning as we sang:

_Sing me something soft,_

_Sad and delicate,_

_Or loud and out of key,_

_Sing me anything_

"Mmm, that was nice," Bella mumbled sleepily.

"K, well, it's time for you to get to bed, missy," I said as I picked her up gently and carried her upstairs- this time to Jasper's room. I figured it might make her more comfortable.

"How much longer 'til I gets to see, Jazzy?" She asked, probably only half-listening to my answer by this point.

I tucked her in and said, "Only about twelve more hours, hun. Go to sleep."

"Mmkay." She rolled onto her side and was fast asleep within minutes.

* * *

**A/N**: So, what'd you think??? Oh, and btw, this is in no way, shape, or form EVER gonna be a Bella/Edward for all of you who might be hoping for that. I hate when authors do that! But, I decided he's gonna be way more lovable in this fic as opposed to how he usually is in my fics. =] Um, the song was "Existentialism On Prom Night" by an amazing indie band called Straylight Run! The piano is intense and really captivating on that song… and the video's pretty awesome. Anyhoo, you guy's should check 'em out.

**Disclaimer**: Once again, I own nothing. BlessedBeACullen owns the idea!


	15. Taylor Guitars Are Amazing!

**(Jasper's POV)**

"Oh, Jasper. Why would you leave her?" Carmen asked me once I told her my story. Everyone in the Denali coven was gathered around me in the spacious living room. Carmen was sitting next to me on one of the couches.

"I… I just couldn't deal with everything," I said dejectedly. I let my head fall forward into my hands and waited for someone else to speak.

"So… when'd you meet this… Bella," Tanya asked tentatively.

"No more than a few weeks actually." Had it really been such a short time? It felt like I'd known her for forever.

"You're brave, to even _get_ this close to a human," Eleazar murmured. Irina was just pissy, most likely because she didn't approve of me with someone other than her. She's had the hots for me for years.

Eleazer was right. I'd been selfish to bring Bella into all this. I knew I couldn't handle it.

Carmen seemed to be able to read my mind and said, "You have to go back. It's obvious to everyone that she's your soulmate."

I shook my head. "I can't go back! I almost killed her."

"But you didn't," she said pointedly.

"Because Emmett and Rose held me back," I said bitterly. What would have happened if I hadn't been restrained? Would I be attending Bella's funeral?

Carmen rolled her eyes and mumbled something inaudible in Spanish. "From what you've told us, it's clear that you love her, do you not?"

"Of course I love her!"

"Then I have no doubt in my mind that you would've stopped yourself before you killed her."

Irina's irritability spiked tenfold. I just ignored it and turned to Carmen, who's always been the romantic one… probably because she's the only one in the coven with a mate. "You really think so?"

She nodded.

I just shook my head again. "I can't do it. Not yet."

She sighed. "Okay. Well, you can stay here until you're ready. But you better go back soon before you lose her."

Lose Bella? I couldn't even imagine a life without her now.

"I-I think I just need some time to think."

"Guest room's open on the third floor," Carmen said. "It's all yours."

I stood up and raced up to the room, though it offered little privacy anyway. Everyone could hear everything I said or did, but it was enough.

Fuck, I wished I'd thought to bring my guitar, at least my baby Taylor!

Instead I settled on listening to my iPod.

* * *

**(Bella's POV)**

I woke up some time later and noticed the sun was just starting to set. My heart skipped a beat when I realized what this meant- we could go find Jasper now.

Alice poked her head in and told me, "Get ready. We're leaving soon. And grab Jasper's Taylor while you're at it."

"His what?"

"One of his guitars. Nevermind, I'll do it." She was in and out of his closet in less than a second, with a guitar case in one hand. "What do you want to eat? It's kind of a long drive, even for us."

"Four double cheeseburgers and large fries from McDonald's." My stomach was growling because I hadn't eaten anything since the popcorn early that morning.

"Got it. We'll stop along the way." And then she disappeared.

I got out of bed and decided not to change. I was comfortable in my Happy Bunny pajama bottoms and Jasper's hoodie. So, instead, I just followed Alice out to Edward's idling silver Volvo.

The heat was on full blast and a pile of blankets occupied half of the back seats.

I grabbed one and settled myself into the car before Edward tore out of the driveway and out to the highway, where we idled at around one hundred miles per hour.

We stopped to get me food and then we were cruising along again.

I attacked my cheeseburgers! I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I smelled them in the paper bag.

"Thank you!" I said mid-chew.

Alice and Edward both laughed and replied, "You're welcome."

By the second cheeseburger, I was starting to get sleepy and before I knew it, I was out like a light.

* * *

**(Jasper's POV)**

As I listened to my iPod, all I could think about was Bella and when I played guitar for her… and how I wished I had my freakin' Taylor with me! Or at the very least my Fender or Takemine!

God, I'd even take a shitty as hell Squier! I just needed a guitar. Something to distract me…

It was a knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts and my brain went, 'Bella?' despite how impossible it was. I would have heard her.

I turned my iPod off and opened the door. It was Irina.

I sighed inwardly and opened up the door. "Hello Irina."

She smiled a, what she thought, was a flirty smile. "Hey Jazz."

"Don't call me that," I said automatically. I didn't mean to sound rude, but the only people who are allowed to call me that are Alice and Bells.

Her smile faltered for a second, but she recovered quickly. "Why can't I call you Jazz?"

I sighed inwardly. "Because," I said, trying as hard as I could to be patient, "Only my girlfriend and sister can call me that."

She rolled her eyes. "Why are you even wasting your time with a _human_?" She said the word 'human' as if it were poison.

"Because, I love her. Now get out!" I had lost all patience now.

Irina didn't budge, but instead, made her way over to the bed and sat there, looking sickeningly innocent.

"But Jazzy-"

"Get the fuck _out_!" I screamed. That was the last straw.

She glared at me but left, thank God!

I went back to wallowing and listening to my iPod. MxPx is an amazing cure for missing someone.

No more than two songs later, there was another knock on my door.

"Irina! Leave me the fuck alone!" I screamed.

"It's Carmen," I heard someone with a slight Spanish accent answer.

"Oh." I stowed my iPod in my pocket and said, "Come in."

She poked her head in and saw me sitting on the bed.

"How're you doing?" She asked, coming to sit down next to me.

"I wish I had a guitar," I said after a minute.

She laughed a little. "Well, if you went back, you'd get your beloved guitar."

"I _can't_ go back, Carmen. Bella probably hates me now."

"I don't think she does."

"You don't know her."

"Then tell me about her," Carmen offered.

A small smile appeared on my face as I thought about my beautiful angel. "Well, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She just has this… something about her that I can't exactly describe."

"What does she look like?" She asked, genuinely curious. "We don't exactly come across humans often." It was true. They lived in East Jesus Nowhere!

"She's kinda short, I mean, like your height. Taller than Alice." Carmen laughed, because well, _everyone_ is taller than my pixie-like sister. I continued, "And she's got long, silky brown hair and these really expressive brown eyes that I always get lost in…" I trailed off as I thought about Bella.

"What's her personality like?"

"Well… I'm guessing she was, at one point, a very vibrant person."

"_Was_?"

"I met Bella at a really difficult time for her. She came to Forks to get away from her abusive step-father… he killed her mother."

Carmen gasped. "That's horrible! That poor girl."

I nodded. "And her father just committed suicide. Bella was trying to hurt herself when I tried to kill her…"

"She's lucky she has you."

"Her personality was just starting to shine through when it happened… She was connecting with Alice and starting to smile again, but then it just went to hell."

We were silent for a minute before I added, "And she's really smart. She figured out what I was in a day."

"How?"

"Uh… well, I went to her house to return her iPod 'cause she left it in biology and then I caught her crying and… I guess the whole 'no heartbeat' thing kinda gave it away. She said one of us saved her when she was little."

Carmen gasped again, this time in recognition. "She's not… she's not the little girl I rescued all those years ago… She can't be!"

I nodded. "From what she told me, it was you, Carmen."

She shook her head. "I always wondered what happened to that poor child."

"Well… now you know."

She nodded. "Thank you, for taking care of her, Jasper. I worried for years about that child."

Just then, we heard the sound of tires crunching the snow in the driveway.

"Are you expecting someone else?" I asked.

Carmen shook her head and mumbled something in Spanish. "I'll go get the door."

I followed her down, curious about who it was. It couldn't have been a human, I couldn't hear any discernable heartbeat, but then again, my senses weren't exactly up to par at the moment.

Imagine my surprise when Carmen opened the door and my brother and sister stood in the doorway.

But that's not what was surprising…

What was surprising was that my angel was with them…

* * *

**A/N**: Hello, my faithful readers! =] Well, here ya go, Chapter 15! Sorry for the long wait, but I've been kinda busy, plus I'm like never on this computer anymore. But now I'm out of school, so I have more time! Woot woot! So, anyhoo, if you can't tell by this chapter, I am obsessed with Taylor guitars because they are just beautiful and soooo amazing! ^_^ I wish I had one… but I've only ever played one. And my choir teacher's TA brought a baby Taylor in (it's a mini guitar, if you didn't figure that out)!!! It was sooo awesome! Okay, I'm done. lol. Um… It's been forever since I actually read any Twilight book, so I'm not sure if Irina's name is right… Pretty sure it is. Send me reviews!!!!!!!!!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, but I wish I owned a Taylor guitar!!! Why must they be so damn expensive????


	16. Jasper's Secret

**(Jasper's POV)**

She looked awful, like she hadn't slept in weeks. Her eyes were bloodshot and watery and she was only wearing her thin, cotton pajamas. The snow wasn't helping with her body temperature.

Edward was carrying her in his arms, and I noticed she was shivering.

Carmen noticed too and immediately said something to Eleazer in Spanish. I recognized the word, _fuego_, and assumed that she told him to light a fire (I never bother learning Spanish. I speak Italian and French). She said to Edward in English, "Hurry, get her into the living room. She's shivering!"

Edward hurried with Alice to the living room and I followed, still in a daze. How had I managed to cause her so much pain… again!? I left to save her, but now, I realized, it was the wrong decision. Carmen was right, Bella needs me. How could I have left her like that?

I walked into the living room and saw Bella lying down on a couch, wrapped up in a thick, comforter. The fireplace was blazing away. "Jasper?" She called out timidly.

"Who's up for a hunt?" Carmen suggested.

Everyone picked up on the hint and before long, the house was cleared of the prying eyes and ears of other vampires.

"Jasper?" Bella called again.

"Y-yes, Bella?" I stammered.

"I missed you," she said sadly.

I crossed the room and knelt down next to her head. "I know. I'm so sorry."

"Why'd you leave?" The look in her eyes was heartbreaking.

"I… I don't know. I thought I was doing you a favor."

"Why didn't you talk to me?"

She was doing a really good job of making me feel awful.

"Look, Bella, I'm… all I can say is that I'm _so_ sorry, I never meant to hurt you like this."

"I forgive you."

I didn't deserve her forgiveness. I knew I was a danger to her the moment I met her… it was time to tell her the truth.

"Bella… there's something I have to tell you."

I saw the frightened look in her eyes and knew she was assuming the worse- that I was breaking up with her. "No, I'm not breaking up with you. I love you!" I sighed. "I just hope you still feel the same way about me after I tell you this."

She sat up and looked at me, concern coloring her emotions. "What is it, Jazz?"

I sighed and sat down next to her. She reached over and took my ice cold hand in her warm one.

"Uh… how do I start this?" I was never this flustered when I spoke, so Bella knew this was huge. "Um… remember when you told me that I was a 'good' vampire?"

She gave my hand a squeeze and told me, "Carlisle told me that you and Alice have different pasts than the others."

"Is that all?"

She nodded.

I laughed wryly. "Different is putting it lightly." Suddenly, I had an idea and said, "Come sit by the fire with me. I wanna show you something."

She got up and joined me in front of the fire, and watched me roll up the sleeve of my grey thermal.

I heard her gasp as the scars I'd managed to keep hidden from her weaker human eyes became visible in the firelight.

"Jasper, what _happened_ to you?" She asked, reaching out and touching my ravaged skin. She still wasn't afraid, and I hoped she would remain so when I was done with my story.

"Bella, only one thing leaves a scar on a vampire, and that's the venom of other vampires."

"Vampires did this to you?" She shot me a look of utter disbelief.

"Yes. And not just on my arm either. They're everywhere." Her eyes trailed up to my face and she reached up to touch the two above my left eyebrow. I closed my eyes. "Carlisle was right, when he said I have a very different past. He wasn't the one to change me.

"I was seventeen when the Civil War broke out in America. I was living in Houston, Texas. I wanted to fight, so I lied and convinced everyone that I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it."

Bella had gone back to holding my hand and she squeezed it again, as if urging me to continue.

I let out a breath of air and continued. "I was well liked among my fellow soldiers; Carlisle suspects it's why I'm an empath now. I went up in ranks so fast that I was the youngest Major in the army.

"It was after the first battle of Galveston that it happened… I was helping everyone evacuate when I ran into them. It was three girls, two younger, and one older, she was the leader. The leader's name was Maria. They looked Hispanic, but were as pale as I was. I thought they were ghosts.

"'What is your name?'" Maria asked me.

"'Major Jasper Whitlock,'" I stammered. I've never been able to be impolite to a woman."

"Your last name was Whitlock?" Bella asked me. Odd question, considering that I was telling her the story of how I became a bloodthirsty killer.

I smiled. "Yes. Jasper James Whitlock. The only reason why I go by the last name Hale is because I'm supposed to be Rose's twin, and she refuses to go by Cullen."

She blushed. "I'm sorry, I interrupted your story."

"It's okay."

"So, what happened with this Maria person?"

"She took one look at me and told the others, 'He'll do nicely.'. And the next thing I knew I was being dragged away, with the venom coursing through my veins.

"I awoke a few days later, not sure where I was. But I found out that Maria had changed me for her army of newborn vampires."

"Newborns?" Bella asked.

"Newly changed vampires. They have super strength the first year of their existence."

"But why would she need an army?"

"Well… there's a huge difference between vampires of the south and the north. The northern vampires are mostly nomads, they travel in small groups, and only hunt when necessary- human blood. Southern vampires, however, are at constant war with each other. See, someone had the idea that if the other vampires in an area were wiped out, they would have the pleasure of feeding two, three times a _day _without humans suspecting a thing. We were fighting for the most territory to, well, to feed off of humans. So, Maria created a newborn army so she could gain the most territory.

"I was her right-hand man. I was used for my ability, which is why our army worked better than others. I was in control of them, and with my military training, I was able to train them to their best abilities."

I took a huge breath before I could continue. It felt like there was a lump in my throat. "I was also in charge of killing the newborns if we no longer needed their assistance. Very few of them had abilities like mine. At first, and I hate to admit it, I loved the chase, the hunt. Loved hunting humans, and Maria rewarded me often… but eventually it got to be too much. I was feeling the agony of each and every one of my victims. I didn't want to live like this anymore.

"Lucky for me, neither did another newborn. His name was Peter, and he was tired of the violence just like I was. I broke away from Maria easily, and ran away with Peter and his mate, Charlotte. But the problem was that they were perfectly content to still feed off of humans, but I couldn't do that. I had sunk into a deep depression, and wandered on my own, only feeding when necessary.

"I was in Philadelphia when I met Alice. It was raining, and I was standing in front of a diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one noticed that they were red when I walked in. It was struggle not to kill anyone...

"She was sitting there, on a stool in front of the counter and she jumped down and flashed me a smile. 'I've been waiting a long time for you,' she told me. Alice saved me, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. She told me about a coven of vampires she'd had a vision about. Vampires who didn't hunt humans. She, like me, was unable to bear human blood much longer, so we set off to find the Cullens.

"Alice has been my best friend ever since, and it's because of her… at least until you came along, that I haven't had any slip-ups. Despite the choice I made to hunt animals instead, the temptation for human blood was still strong. Alice had to hold me back from many a tourist or stray hiker over the years…" I faded off and looked at Bella expectantly.

She sat there, processing everything I'd told her. There was still no fear, to my surprise.

I was even more surprised when she leaned over and hugged me. _Hugged_ me!

"Uh… Bella? Did you hear anything I just said?"

"I'm so _proud _of you," she sighed.

"_Proud_? Bella, I just told you that I used to be a bloodthirsty killer. How could you be proud of that? I'm a monster. Not the 'good' vampire you thought I was."

She picked her head up to look at me. "_Used_ _to_, those are the key words. You _used to_ hunt humans, but you managed to change your life around! Come on, no slip-ups in years! That's amazing! So… I'm proud of you, Jasper James Whitlock Hale."

I really didn't deserve her. "Bella, I love you."

She pressed closer to me and kissed my lips. "And I love you. I know how hard it was for you to tell me." She rose up onto her knees and kissed my forehead, right above my left eye.

This was so unbelievably cheesy, yet nothing could have made the moment more perfect…

Until the music started, that is.

* * *

**A/N**: Could the moment get any cheesier??? lol! Anyhoo, well, here ya go, chapter 16! Wow… 16 chapters… I never realized that this would reach this point, or that it would be so popular! _**THANK YOU**_ to my many loyal readers! I love you guys!!! ^_^ And also, once again, I have to give a _**BIG**_ thanks to BlessedBeACullen, for allowing me to bring her idea to life! =] So, as you can see, Jasper's big secret has finally been revealed. If you forgot about that whole deal, go back and read Chapter 3. Yeah, so I haven't actually read _Eclipse_ for awhile, so I forgot some of Jazzy's story, but I did my best. Hope it's okay… Anyhoo, review!!!! Hey, that rhymed! XD

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing!!!! Stephanie Meyer owns all characters and BlessedBeACullen owns the idea!


	17. Prozac

**(Jasper's POV)**

I knew immediately who was playing the music.

Bella did too, and I saw her giggle for the first time in what seemed like forever.

The song was totally out of place for the moment, driving guitars and a pounding bass line. Yet, somehow, it worked.

Then Alice ran and set my guitar in front of me, all in the blink of an eye. Bella didn't even see her.

I laughed as I listened to the song.

_You think I'm crazy because I love you  
You think I'm lost and that I'm cuckoo  
I may be mental, maybe whacko too  
But who needs Prozac when I've got you?_

I took my guitar out (my Taylor!!!!! *girlie squeal*) and started playing along as I sang.

_You think I'm three sheets to the wind  
That I should be locked in the loony bin  
I may be mad, I may be psycho too  
But who needs Prozac when I've got you?  
Who needs Prozac when I've got you?_

Bella's smile lit up her whole face, which only encouraged me to keep singing.

_Maybe they should lock me in a padded room  
I'm a special case and it's safe to assume  
I may be insane, out of my mind too  
But who needs Prozac when I've got you?  
Who needs Prozac when I've got you?_

Bella sang with me on the slower bridge of the song.

_You may be right  
That I'm losing sight of my sanity  
Or maybe you're the one who's really crazy_

We sang the rest of the song together. Her alto voice with my bass. (A/N: Alto's rule!)

_You think I'm crazy because I love you  
You think I'm lost and that I'm cuckoo  
I may be mental, maybe whacko too  
But who needs Prozac when I've got you?  
But who needs Prozac when I've got you?  
Who needs Prozac when I've got you?  
Who needs Prozac when I've got you?_

We ended the song laughing uncontrollably. Bella actually had to wipe tears away, she was laughing so hard. "Oh my God! That was _perfect_!"

I set my guitar down and pulled her into my lap. "Yeah, Alice always knows how to make a moment all the more cheesy."

She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. "I really missed you."

It was like a splash of cold water to the face (metaphorically). "I know, Bells. And I really can't tell you how sorry I am."

"Doesn't matter. I got you back."

"I don't deserve you."

She looked up and me and said jokingly, "Don't say things like that."

"It's true."

She just smiled and kissed me.

Once she pulled back, my eyes were drawn to her left arm. It was stuck in a big, bulky, white cast. I reached out and touched it gently. "How's your arm?"

She looked down at where my hand was and put her own on top of it. "It doesn't hurt that bad. Carlisle said I'll be fine as long as I don't move it too much."

It was a struggle to look into her eyes. "I'm _so_ sorry, Bella."

She moved her hand to touch my cheek. "Shh. It wasn't your fault. We all make mistakes."

I laughed bitterly. "But how often is that mistake almost killing your girlfriend?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Well it sounds bad when you put it like _that_!"

"Can you forgive me?"

"Haven't I just proved that I do?" She sighed and I could sense how exhausted she was. She confirmed it when she said, "Now, if you don't mind. I really need to sleep."

I managed a small smile and picked her up gently to carry her to the guest room I was staying in. She buried her face into my chest and inhaled.

I laughed and she picked her head up and demanded, "What!? You smell good!"

"Good to know," I said and continued up the steps to my room.

We made it to the room and I set her down on the bed gently.

She struggled a bit with her broken arm to get under the covers, so I stepped up and helped her.

She smiled up at me. "I missed that."

"I know." I pulled the covers back and got into bed with her. She snuggled up as close as possible and smiled up at me.

"Could you sing to me, Jazzy?" She asked.

How could I ever deny her anything? "Of course, Bells." I dashed downstairs and got my guitar before she could blink. I took out my Taylor and thought about a good song to play. Hmmm. It didn't take long before inspiration struck.

I smiled and started playing, changing the tempo around a little to make it better as acoustically, and started singing.

_I made a habit  
Of never making promises  
That aren't easy to keep  
And there you have it  
But now I'm making one that is  
To keep you here with me_

I felt Bella relax and lean onto my shoulder.

_Cause every second that goes by  
I feel is just a waste of time  
If I'm not with you_

A pause, and then the chorus.

_If home is where the heart is then my home is where you are  
But it's getting oh so hard to spend these days without my heart_

She let out an audible, "Awww" at that.

_  
So I'm taking you with me  
Anywhere that I  
Could ever want to be  
For the rest of my life  
I want you there with me  
And if there ever comes a time  
When I should have to leave  
I hope you know that I  
I'm taking you with me_

I finished up the song and set my guitar down. "So, what'd you think?" I asked Bella.

"That was amazing!" She gushed. "Thank you."

I chuckled. "You're welcome, Bella."

She leaned back against the pillows and yawned.

"Time for bed."

"No, I'm not sleepy!" She insisted. But another yawn gave her away.

I laughed and slid under the covers with her. "Bella, I'll still be here in the morning. I promise."

She looked up at me and searched my face for any evidence of me lying. "You promise?"

I kissed her on the lips and repeated, "I promise. Now, go to sleep."

She yawned again and asked, "What's that guitar's name?"

"That's Prudence. After the Beatles song. Lots of my guitars are named after Beatles songs. Sally, Sadie, Rita, Eleanor Rigby, Desmond, Molly, Lucy, Jude, Maxwell, JoJo, Lady Madonna… Yeah, and I have a bass named Ringo, one named Paul, and guitars named John and George." It felt weird, talking about my guitars, I mean. No one else seemed to be all that interested in my babies as much as I was.

"What about Bella?" She asked, referring to my Takemine.

I smiled. "She's the only one named after someone I actually know."

She snuggled closer to me and I could feel her smile against my shirt. "Good."

I kissed her forehead and hugged her close. "Good night, Bells. I love you."

"Loves you too, Jazzy," she mumbled. And then she was fast asleep.

* * *

**A/N**: Haha, hey peoples! Well, I thought now was the time for the title song to actually get used. =] So yeah, the first song was a little song called "Prozac" by MxPx and it is absolutely amazing (even though I say that about every song I use)!!!! ^_^ And the second song was "I'm Taking You With Me" by Relient K and it's one of their many, many adorably sweet songs that I love! Check it out, it's awesome!!! For the record, that bass of Jasper's named Ringo... yeah, that's my baby! XD

Also, I thought I should probably add this because it's been asked more than once… It's on my profile too in its full form, but anyways, I've had a couple people ask me why I use so many "Christian" rock bands, in this fic especially, yet I have a whole lotta cussing in my fics. Well, my answer to that to put it bluntly, is that the "Christian rock" label is complete bullshit. I'm saying this for Relient K specifically, 'cause for the most part, most of their songs are just quirky or funny or cute. Most of their "religious" stuff was on earlier albums… I mean, they might call themselves a "Christian rock" band, but I don't believe in it. And also, for the record, I'm _Jewish_, so I could really care less if I'm using Christian bands in my fics. I just use good songs. Hell, I've been listening to Relient K's Christmas album nonstop for like the last two weeks 'cause the songs rock! *shrugs* Hope this didn't offend anyone, nor was this meant to be an attack on Christian rock bands. I'm just letting you know why I use so much Relient K and MxPx ('cause they are fuckin' awesome!!!). I'll admit, most of this was to take up space! XD K, shutting up now. =]

**Disclaimer**: I totally wish I owned Matty T. from Relient K, but sadly I do not. =[ So, Relient K and MxPx own the songs and Stephanie Meyer owns characters!


	18. Song For You

**(Jasper's POV)**

Bella slept peacefully that night. She didn't even sleep-talk. Well, not much anyway.

Alice poked her head in sometime in the middle of the night to check on her. "How is she?" She muttered so only I could hear.

"She's fine," I assured her.

The worried look didn't leave her eyes. "How's her arm?"

Bella chose that moment to shift slightly, throwing the cast into greater relief with the light coming from the hallway.

"She's not in pain," I said. "Look, I know you feel guilty Alice. But she forgives you. You can talk to her in the morning."

"Okay. Night Jasper."

"Night Alice."

And then the room was cloaked in darkness again. I sighed. It's amazing that all of this turmoil was caused by my own god damn slipup.

Bella mumbled something that sounded like, "You smell like dead bunnies."

It took all the self-control I had not to burst out laughing at that.

I sighed and pulled her a little closer to me. I had to find some way to make it up to her.

I closed my eyes and just relaxed. It was the closest I'd ever get to really sleeping.

There was only one more interruption for the rest of the night when Alice came in to tell me she'd be leaving with Edward for Forks in the morning.

Before she left, she added, "Jasper, you don't _have_ to show her you're sorry. She already knows it."

"Yeah, but I still want to. But I don't know how."

She smiled and shook her head. "Silly Jasper. Do what you're best at."

"Which is…?"

She sighed. "I'll let you figure that one out yourself. Night."

I would never understand my crazy midget sister.

* * *

At around eleven o'clock the next morning, Bella stirred and buried her face in the pillow to block the sunlight streaming in.

I kissed her cheek. "Wake up sleepyhead. We're heading home today."

"I don't wanna wake up. Too early," she mumbled. Her eyes were still closed.

I sighed. She left me with no choice… all I had to do was poke her side and she squealed like a little girl and shot up in bed.

She glared at me and hit me in the arm. "Jasper, you jackass!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry, Bells. But it's getting kinda late."

She sighed overdramatically. "Fine. I'm up. Happy?" She smiled and gave me a kiss. "Morning, Jazzy."

"Morning Bella."

Edward chose that moment to drop in and when he saw that he had interrupted something, he got a little embarrassed.

Bella smiled at him and said, "Hey Edward. What's up?"

"Alice and I are taking my Volvo. We're leaving now. You two can leave whenever you're ready."

I turned to look at Bella. "When do you wanna leave?"

"I think I'm ready now. But can I say bye to Alice before she leaves?"

She was at the door instantly. "Hey hun, what's up?"

"I just wanted to say thanks for taking care of me."

"Aww. C'mere and give me a hug!"

Bella threw the covers back and ran over to Alice, who swept her up in a bear hug… which was actually pretty hilarious to watch considering how tiny Alice is.

The crazy midget set Bella back down on the ground and kissed her on the cheek. "See ya back in Forks, Bella."

"Bye Alice." She looked over at Edward. "Thanks to you too, Edward."

If he could, my brother would most likely be blushing. He's always been really shy.

"You're welcome, Bella," he said quietly. "Alice, we should probably go."

I would never understand how my crazy energizer bunny of a sister ended up with Edward. But she made him happy, and that's all that mattered.

She gave Bella one last hug and then flitted over to her husband. They were gone in a second.

I felt a stab of pain coming from Bella and turned to her, alarmed. "Bells, are you okay?"

"Yeah. My arm just kinda hurts."

"Oh… well, I don't think that there's any Ibuprofen here, but we'll stop along the way. Think you can handle it for another hour?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. You're sweet, you know that."

Now it was my turn to be slightly embarrassed. I'm not used to compliments.

"Well, uh, I guess we should get going then."

* * *

**(Bella's POV)**

He is _so_ adorable! You could just tell that he would be blushing if he could.

"I guess we _should_ get going," I said with a smile.

He gave me that shy smile that I absolutely adored and offered me his hand.

I took it and together we walked downstairs. This house was about half the size of the Cullen's, and more rustic looking. Jasper turned to look at me and said, "By the way, Carmen wants to say goodbye to you." We had reached the bottom of the stairs and the vampire that must have been Carmen was waiting for us.

She was just as pale as Jasper was, yet her features were clearly Hispanic. She was absolutely gorgeous. I also realized that she was the vampire that had saved me all those years ago.

She flashed me a warm smile and said in a slightly accented voice, "Hi. You probably don't remember me but-"

I cut her off. "You were the vampire that saved me!"

She laughed. "Yes, I was. Jasper told me that you would remember me."

"He was right." I let go of his hand and took a few steps closer to Carmen, unsure of whether I could hug her or not.

She must have sensed my uncertainty because she swept me up in a hug and said, "I'm glad you found Jasper. He needed you."

I really liked Carmen already. I would miss her. "Come and visit sometime," she told me.

I laughed. "I will. Thank you, for letting me stay here."

"No problem. You'll always be welcome here, Bella." She pulled back from the hug and smiled. Then she told Jasper, "You're right. She is beautiful."

I blushed while Jasper laughed. "I know. Well, Bells, we should probably get going now."

"Uh yeah. Bye Carmen."

She waved as we left.

I wasn't thrilled to leave the warm interior of the house. The biting wind stung my cheeks and I shivered in Jasper's oversized hoodie.

Jasper picked me up and before I could process what was happening, I was in his car and the heat was going full blast.

"T-thanks," I managed to say through my chattering teeth. I slowly warmed up and before long we were cruising along at a comfortable speed and I was wrapped up in a warm blanket.

The heat was just starting to lull me to sleep when Jasper said, "I'm sorry, Bella."

I was wide awake now. I sat up and looked at him. "You don't have to be sorry. Everyone makes mistakes, Jasper."

"But I shouldn't have left you."

He was right, but I didn't want to make him feel even shittier about what he'd done. All I cared about was that I got him back. And for a little while, I wasn't thinking about the events leading up to him leaving. It was just me and Jasper.

But as we drove towards Forks, there was no escaping the memories of the funeral. No escaping the fact that this was all caused by my stupid God damn reaction to the stress. If I hadn't punched the mirror, none of this would have happened.

Jasper reached over casually and took my hand. But he didn't manipulate my emotions. He knew why I was feeling guilty and there was no denying it.

But him holding my hand calmed me down just enough to lull me to sleep again.

* * *

**(Jasper's POV) **

As Bella slept, Alice's words came back to me. _"Do what you're best at." _

I still didn't know what the hell that meant. I'm not great at really anything. Except…

I caught a flash of Prudence, my Taylor guitar, sitting in the backseat.

That's when it hit me. I'd write Bella a song, and play it for her.

I smiled as words flashed in my mind.

By the time I stopped at a drugstore to pick up some medicine and a bottle of water for Bella, I had a verse and a chorus done and I quickly scribbled them down on a spare piece of paper in my glove compartment.

Bella woke up long enough to take two Ibuprofen and then drifted off to sleep again. She didn't wake up until we got to Forks, two hours later.

Four days later, I had my surprise ready.

"You really don't have to do this," Alice reminded me for the fifth time while Bella was out with Rosalie. Did you ever think you'd see those two names in that kind of a sentence? But it was true. Rose had offered to take Bella out to the mall for some girl bonding time. They'd be back soon.

I looked up from where I was tuning up JoJo, my Fender. "Yeah, but I still want to."

She smiled. "Okay then. By the way, she's gonna love it."

"I would hope so. When's Rose bringing her back?"

"In about another hour. They're watching a movie right now. They're having a really fun time."

"Well, that's good."

I finished tuning JoJo and strummed a few chords.

I sat there playing a few random Beatles songs as I waited for the sound of Rose's red convertible.

* * *

**(Bella's POV) **

It was nice to know that Rosalie didn't hate me. She admitted that the reason she didn't like me at first was because she was sure that I would blab the secret and they would have to move. "I'm sorry, Bella. I realize now how much you need Jasper. And he really needs you too."

We were on our way back from the movie we'd seen. "What was he like before I met him?"

She sighed, and didn't answer for a long time. Eventually, she said, "He was quiet. Didn't talk to us much. The only person he would open up for was Alice, but I think it's just because she was the one who could understand his struggle with human blood. She was going through the same thing. But Alice had Edward, and Jasper didn't have anyone. It was sad to watch." She glanced at me. "But now he has you, and he's so much happier now. You know what he did the day he met you?"

I blushed, thinking about that day. But I figured that she was talking about _after_ he left my house. "What'd he do?" I asked.

She laughed a little and said, "He walked through the front door singing the Beatles at the top of his lungs. I mean, he's always been obsessed with them, but Jasper is not a belt-it-out singer type of person. He mostly just sticks to his guitars."

I laughed at the mental image I got. It _was_ a little out of place to think of Jasper singing at the top of his lungs.

Rosalie added, "I think he almost squealed like a girl too."

_That_ got me cracking up!

Before I knew it, we were pulling up to the house. "I had a really fun time, Rosalie. Thanks."

She gave me a smile, a genuine smile and leaned over and gave me a hug. "Any time, Bella. I fell horrible about how I acted towards you. But, now I think Jasper's pretty excited to see you."

She was right. I got out of the car to see him standing outside with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face.

I decided against running, seeing as how there was snow on the ground, not the nice, crunchy kind either. No, it was the icy, sleety crap that it becomes when it starts melting.

Jasper ran over to me and kissed me. "Hey, guess what?"

"What?" I asked.

"I've got a surprise for you."

With that said he took my hand and led me into the house.

It was nice and toasty when we walked in. He led me to the living room and I saw a fire crackling away in the fireplace.

I shed my black parka and asked, "So, what's my surprise?"

"Sit down. Lemme get it."

He was gone before I could blink.

I sat down on the couch and wrapped myself in one of the blankets sitting on the couch as I waited for Jasper to come back.

I should have expected to see one of his many guitar cases in his hand when he came back. My heart skipped a beat just thinking about his beautiful guitar playing.

He smiled that shy smile of his and sat the case down on the carpet before taking a seat next to me on the couch.

I scooted close to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arm around me and we just sat there in content silence for a while before he said quietly, "I'm really sorry about what I did, Bella."

I picked my head up off his shoulder and looked at him. "Jazz, I know you're sorry. You don't have to apologize."

He shook his head. "Yes I do. But I figured words wouldn't be enough, so I wrote a song for you instead."

"Really?" I asked. No one had ever done something as sweet as that for me.

He smiled. "Really." Then he leaned down and opened the guitar case. "This is JoJo, by the way," he added as he did a quick tune up.

I laughed. "Nice name."

He just smirked and then started playing. It was mostly chords, no complicated guitar riffs or anything. It was simple, I liked that.

Then he took a deep breath, and sang:

_I write you poems, I write you songs_

_I hope you like 'em and sing along_

_I wrote every word for you_

_May be simple and out of key_

_A little cliché and off beat_

_You know that every word is true  
_

_I may be young and a little stupid_

_I may not know a lot of things_

_But I know one thing is true_

_I love you more than anything_

_More than you will ever know_

_More than you will ever see_

_More than you will ever know_

It was a truly amazing song, and I couldn't believe that he had written it in such a short time. Words and melody and chords.

_I wrote this song, I wrote it for you_

_I wrote it for you_

He repeated the chorus and then went to the next verse. I liked the sound of those words. A song, just for me.

_It may sound cheesy, it may sound dumb_

_But I know you're my only one_

_And I don't want it any other way_

_I know I'm not so good with words_

_I know I can't write the perfect verse_

_I hope you like it just the same_

I don't know if he added that just to make it sound better, but he was _definitely_ an amazing songwriter and even _more_ of a perfect boyfriend if it were at all possible.

He repeated the chorus one last time and then ended his song.

I was stunned into silence, and I think he took it as a bad sign, because he started to say, "Yeah, I know it's not perfect but-"

"Jasper, that was… _amazing_! Thank you _so_ much! No one's ever done anything like for me."

He smiled. "Well, I wanted to do something special for you. So, I'm glad you liked it."

"I didn't just like it. I loved it." Then I leaned over and kissed him.

He set his guitar gently and pulled me into his lap and kissed me back.

After I broke the kiss due to the need for oxygen, I just laid there in his lap with my head on his shoulder.

No words were spoken for a while. We just sat there in content silence.

I felt Jasper's lips at my ear as he asked, "Can I play you another song?"

I turned to look at him and smiled. "Of course you can." I scooted off his lap so he could pick his guitar up.

"I didn't write this one, but I think you'll like it."

This one was vastly different than the last one.

_All of my love - all of my kissin'  
you don't know what you've been a-missin'  
oh boy - when you're with me - oh boy  
the world can see that you were meant for me_

He sang with his natural southern accent and made it more prominent than it usually was. It was amazing!

He went on to the next verse.

_All of my life I've been a-waitin'  
tonight there'll be no hesitatin'  
oh boy - when you're with me - oh boy  
the world can see that you were meant for me_

He couldn't have picked a more perfect song! Then he got to the chorus and I just melted.

_Stars appear and shadows fall  
and you can hear my heart call  
and a little bit of lovin' makes everything right  
I'm gonna see my baby tonight_

Jasper never _did_ get to finish his song, because I kissed his right then and there.

* * *

**A/N**: Holy crap! I didn't even think I was capable of writing a chapter this long! Haha. Well, here ya go! Actually, you guys, for the first time ever, I can say that I actually got permission from one of these artists to use their songs! The first song was written by my friend, Brian Gower, who's in a local San Diego band by the name of Plane Without A Pilot. And I told him that I'd tell you guys how awesome the band is (it is. It's freakin' amazing!). The song was called "Song For You" and it's my absolute _favorite_ PWP song! So, do me a favor, and check out Plane Without A Pilot on myspace at "myspace . com / planewithoutapilot" **Remove all spaces**! And send Brian and Kyle (bassist) some love, and tell them Lea sent you! =] Now, the last song was by a really amazing guy named Buddy Holly, who unfortunately is dead (R.I.P), but if you don't already listen to him, **listen to him**!!!!!!!!! I picked this song, by the name "Oh Boy!" just because it fit in so perfectly and I could just see Jasper singing it. =] So, yeah, go check it out if you have to! I love Buddy Holly!!!!!!! ^_^

Lastly, dedications for whoever can guess the Simpsons reference I added into this chapter! =] Good luck.

**Disclaimer**: "Song For You" belongs to my friend, Brian. "Oh Boy!" belongs to Buddy Holly. And Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight.


End file.
